She Used To Love You, Now She Hates You

A girl in love
Unsplash / John Schnobrich

She used to love you. She used to assume you would be in her world forever. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind about it. She was convinced you were the one.

That is why she gave you a second chance. And a third. A fourth. A fifth. 

She forgave you whenever you apologized. She even forgave you when you didn’t bother to apologize. When you turned around the next day and acted like nothing ever happened.

She let you get away with murder. She let you do unspeakable things. Things that her standards never should have allowed.

She loved you so much that she let your mistakes slide. She lowered her expectations because of you. She let you become the exception to her rules.

Even after everything that happened, after everything that you have done, she still wants to forgive you again. She wants to go back to the way things were before. She wants to erase the shitty things you’ve said from her mind and start fresh.

But she cannot do it anymore. She can’t handle another disappointment — and giving you another chance would lead to disappointment. There is no question about it. 

She used to think you were capable of changing, but it’s clear that you are never going to act any differently. You keep repeating the same mistakes you swore you would stop making. You keep making promises and failing to keep them. You keep hurting her again and again and again.

She lost friends over you. She lost her sanity over you. She lost out on happiness because of you. But you only gained from her. You gained someone who listened. Someone who cared. Someone who had your back. Someone who trusted you, even when you proved you couldn’t be trusted at all.

But now you’re finally the one losing something now that she’s gaining her freedom. Now that she’s leaving you and refusing to look back. 

She used to love you, she used to give you chances like candy, so the fact that she is finally done is a big fucking deal. It means you did something unforgivable. It means you crossed an invisible line. It means you hurt her one too many times.

It means this is your fault. This is all on you.

So don’t you dare blame her for walking away from you. Don’t beg her for another chance, because she already gave you everything she had to give. She has run out of energy. You have taken all of her optimism, all of her hope, all of her faith, and burnt it to charcoal.

If you care about her even a little, then you won’t chase after her. You won’t beg her to come back. You won’t ask her to settle for the half-ass love you have always given her. 

You will let her leave. You will let her hate you. You will let her move on so she can end up in a better relationship, the kind of relationship she always deserved but never got from you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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