Ranking The Zodiacs Based On How Dirty Their Minds And Mouths Are

A girl with a dirty mouth
God & Man


Sex is always on your mind, which is why you always find a way to turn an innocent conversation sexual. When you were a kid, you were the king/queen of that’s what she said jokes. And now, after you sleep with someone new (or even hold hands with them), you text all of your friends to give them the dirty details. You aren’t against kissing and telling. Half of the fun is bragging about what happened the next morning.


You don’t give a fuck what other people think about you, which is why you never change your personality based on who is around. You have accidentally cursed in front of teachers and bosses and your parents — and you didn’t think twice about it. After all, you were just being yourself and acting any other way doesn’t occur to you. If someone doesn’t like the way you speak, they can go fuck themselves.


You are constantly crossing the line with your jokes or going into a little too much detail about your sex life. You don’t realize that you’re making other people uncomfortable until it’s too late, because it never occurs to you to censor yourself. But you do respect other people’s opinions, so you’re quick to say sorry and tone it down once you realize it’s not the time or place for your dirty talk.


You love telling dirty jokes. You love hearing dirty stories. And you love talking dirty during sex. You have a high sex drive, and you are completely comfortable with your body and your sexuality, so you never hesitate to talk about bedroom activities. In fact, you actually feel bad for people who shy away from those topics. You wish they accepted themselves as much as you accept yourself. 


You have a dirty mouth and an even dirtier mind, but you are able to turn it on and off at will. If you’re around your grandparents, for instance, you are able to hold yourself back from dropping F-bombs and telling dirty jokes. But when you are around your friends, you are the most sexual one there. Some of the things that come out of your mouth wouldn’t even be heard in a rated-R film.


You have a dirty mind — but you’re careful around new people. You never know whether you are good enough friends with someone to start calling them a bitch and joking about wanting to fuck them. You don’t want to cross that line too early. You want to become comfortable with someone before you start being inappropriate with them.


When you are sober, you are the definition of elegance. But once someone gets you drunk, you turn into a totally different person. A flirtatious person. A person who curses like a sailor. A person who doesn’t hesitate to talk about how horny they are or what a long dry spell they’ve been going through or how they’re dying for an orgasm.


You actually do have a dirty mind, but only your closest friends know it, because you are careful about your image. You don’t want to look bad in front of your boss or your colleges or your elders, so you are on your best behavior around them. You would never be caught posting a picture of you drinking on Instagram or making a dirty joke on Twitter. You are careful about the way people view you.


You have a dirty mind, but no one would ever know it. You keep your raunchy thoughts to yourself. You’re the kind of person everyone apologizes to after accidentally making a sexual reference in front of, because they think you are totally innocent, which makes you laugh, because they don’t know you at all.


Most people would be surprised by this, but you are actually pretty tame. Compared to the rest of your friends, you never really say anything outrageous or offensive. Your sense of humor is more subtle. More dry than dirty. You don’t have to say anything sexual to get a laugh.


You like hearing dirty jokes, but you never tell them. It’s the same with your sex life. You will happily listen to your friends talk about their latest hookup, but you would never give details about your own sex life. You think some things should stay private.


You are reserved. Conservative. You prefer clean comedy to jokes about dicks and farts. And you don’t like to talk about sex with anybody. Even talking about it with your person sometimes makes you feel uncomfortable. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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