In the past, I have lost people unexpectedly. I have gotten phone calls out of the blue, telling me the heartbreaking news, and went to the funeral a few days later.
I always thought it would be better if I was prepared for their death, if they were sitting inside of a hospital bed and I knew there was a chance they wouldn’t make it, so I would have a chance to say my goodbyes.
But it turns out this isn’t any better. This is just as horrible, because I have time to think about the what ifs. I keep coming up with more and more reasons why your death would be the worst thing ever.
Please don’t leave this world yet, because the timing isn’t right. You have a wedding you need to attend in a few months. After that, there is a baby due that needs to meet you. There are so many exciting things happening soon that will be tinged with sadness if you end up leaving this world. You can’t miss them. You need to stick around long enough to watch them unfold.
Please don’t leave this world yet, because your family still needs you. They aren’t ready to navigate this world without your help. They need you around to give them advice. They need you around to make them laugh, to support them, to remind them how proud you are of them. They aren’t ready for you to go yet. It would destroy them.
Please don’t leave this world yet, because too many of my loved ones are in heaven already. It feels like people keep dying, and they’re always the people who matter the most to me. I’m not sure if I can handle another heartbreak. It’s too early. It’s too soon. I can’t lose you, too.
Please don’t leave this world yet, because there is so much left for you to do here. You’ve lived a fulfilling life already, but that doesn’t mean that you are finished. You still have some energy left in you. You still have hopes and dreams and goals that are within your reach. You still have so much to live for.
Please don’t leave this world yet, because I’m worried about how some of your loved ones are going to handle it. I’m worried it would break them. It would lead to too much stress, too much grief, too much disappointment. I don’t want you to suffer, but I don’t want to see them suffer after you’re gone either. They don’t deserve to go through that kind of pain. They are the last people who deserve that.
Please don’t leave this world yet, because it just wouldn’t be fair. It wouldn’t be right. It wouldn’t make any sense. You aren’t supposed to be gone this early. You are supposed to stay with us.
Please don’t leave this world yet, because you are needed here. You are loved here. And once you’re in heaven, it’s going to feel like hell here.