She wants to get over you. She wants to erase you from her phone and delete you from social media and cut you out of her life completely. She wants to follow the old adage out of sight, out of mind.
But it’s impossible for her to do that when she is forced to see you every single week. When she is stuck in the same town as you. Stuck in the same room as you.
There might be some special weekends when she has time away from you, when she has the opportunity to forget about you for a little while, but that never lasts long. She always ends up seeing you again and then her feelings come rushing back in one big wave.
When she sees you, it’s impossible for her to forget the way your hand felt inside of hers. The way your lips felt against hers. The way your eyes used to shine when they looked into hers.
If you didn’t work together or have classes together or live so close to each other, then she would eventually forget about the sound of your voice and the shade of your hair and the way your head tilts back when you laugh. If she never saw you, then she would be able to get over you. She knows she would.
But it’s impossible to get you out of her mind when you are still in her world. She is never going to get over you as long as she keeps seeing you — but she has no choice. She is forced into situations where you are there. She can’t escape them.
What is she supposed to do when you end up in the same room together? Run out the door? Tell you that she doesn’t have time to talk? Give you the silent treatment?
Even if she did those things, it wouldn’t matter, because talking to you isn’t the problem. Seeing you is the problem. Remembering your existence when she’s trying so hard to forget about it is the problem.
She wishes that you would give her some space. She wishes that the universe would give her a break and convince you to quit your job or change classes or move to another town. She wishes that getting over you wasn’t so damn hard.
Every time she sees you, it’s a reminder of what she’s lost. It’s hard enough to look at you sitting alone across the room. She dreads the day when she sees you with someone else. She’s not sure if her heart can take watching you move on when she’s been struggling to do the same for so long.
It would be so much easier if you weren’t always around. If she could take the advice she reads in articles and erase your name from her contact list so that she never heard from you again.
But no matter how long it’s been since she’s last seen you, she knows that it’s only a matter of time until she runs into you again. It’s only a matter of time until she feels her heart break all over again.