Every insecure girl tells herself the biggest lie in the universe — that she isn’t deserving of love.
She desperately wants someone to send her good morning texts and walk her to her front stoop for a goodbye kiss, but when someone actually gives her that amount of attention, she feels uncomfortable. Unworthy.
Her first instinct is to question what the other person is thinking, to act skeptical of their affection. She has trouble believing someone would ever be interested in her, so she self-sabotages. She overthinks. She convinces herself it’s only a matter of time until her heart gets shattered again.
She finds it hard to be happy in the moment, because even if it’s the truth, even if this person has authentic feelings for her, she figures it won’t last long. Something will go wrong soon. They will learn something about her that sends them running, like how messy she looks without makeup or how long it takes her to get ready in the morning or how she hasn’t been in a serious relationship in years, if ever.
She keeps people at an arm’s length, she hesitates to let them get too close, because she struggles to love herself and assumes everyone else would feel the same. She thinks it’s better to ignore texts or take a little too long to answer them, to subtly drive people away, because the real her isn’t anyone worth knowing.
She has a tendency to push people away, even when she wants to keep them close, to avoid disappointment. She doesn’t want to grow attached to someone who is going to walk away — and in her mind, everyone will walk away after enough time. Everyone leaves.
She doesn’t realize how much she has to offer. She doesn’t see that insecure girls deserve love, too.
She deserves love, even if there are going to be days when she feels annoying. Days when she needs reassurance that her person isn’t going to leave, that they aren’t cheating behind her back, that they aren’t planning a breakup. Days when she needs a little extra love to make up for the doubts swimming through her psyche.
She deserves love, even if she has trouble wrapping her mind around the fact. Even if she has trouble accepting compliments. Even if she has trouble believing why anyone would choose her over the rest of their options. Even if she has trouble viewing herself as someone with value.
She deserves love, even if there are pieces of herself she wishes she could change. One day, she will become comfortable enough with someone to show them every side of her, even the awkward ones, even the embarrassing ones. One day, she won’t worry about chasing someone away with her truth, because she will have faith they will stay.
She deserves love, even if she is the one who has the most trouble believing it. She deserves love, because even though she cannot see the beauty in herself, other people can see it as clear as day.