It’s been a while since I’ve gone out for dinner and drinks with my best friends, but I’m not ignoring them on purpose. I have been busy working my ass off. I have been making money. I have been making something of myself.
I’m trying my best to keep in touch with the people who matter the most to me, but it’s difficult to give them the attention they deserve when I’m trying to make the decisions that are best for me and my own future, my own happiness, my own sanity.
So if we’re friends, I’m sorry if I have been acting distant lately, because I would love to spend the entire weekend together like we used to when we were younger. But you have to understand that I’m not always going to be available when you ask to hang out at the last second because I have a packed schedule that’s hard to alter. Even when I’m free, I’m not always going to be in the mood to socialize, because I need time to unwind after a week’s worth of working my ass off.
It’s rare for me to get a minute to myself, so please don’t be offended when I go a few days without talking to you, a few weeks without seeing you. I don’t have that much time to spare. If I did, then I would give it all to you.
Maybe I haven’t been the best friend lately, but it’s hard to balance a social life, a love life, and a career. It’s hard to fit everything I care about into twenty-four hours. I’m doing the best that I can. I’m trying not to neglect you.
I return your phone calls as soon as I can. I remember your birthday. I send you videos that remind me of you. I like all of your social media posts. I remind you how much I care whenever I get the chance. I just don’t get the chance often because I’m older now and have a shitton of responsibilities I can’t ignore.
So if it takes me longer than ten minutes to answer your texts, it doesn’t mean I’ve stopped giving a shit about you. Yes, I have my phone on me at all times and it only takes a second to send a text back, so I understand why you get upset. But I would rather wait a few hours so I can text you when I’m free. When we can have a longer, more detailed conversation instead of me giving you two word answers while barely paying attention to what you say.
I hope you know that I love you. I always have and always will. I’m trying to be a good friend, but I can’t have weekly sleepovers like we did in high school or party three days straight like we did in college. I wish I could, but it’s just not a reality anymore.
You matter to me — but so does my career. I hope you understand that. I hope you don’t hate me for that.