I Will Only Date Someone As Screwed Up As I Am

I don’t want to be with someone who has it all together. Someone who doesn’t have a care in the world. I would rather date someone who knows what it feels like to be hurt.

I don’t want to be with someone who comes from a functional family. I don’t want to be with someone who has never suffered before. Someone who has had it easy their entire life.

I don’t want someone who thinks living comes without consequences. I don’t want someone who looks at me like I’m insane when I tell them stories about my past. I don’t want someone who judges me from where I came from because they can’t relate at all.

I want someone who understands what I have been through. Someone who has had rough days. Stressful days. Bullshit days. Someone who has learned how to take care of themselves because no one else is going to do it for them.

I want someone who I can rely on when shit hits the fan. Someone who can think on their feet. Someone who knows how to handle hard situations without falling apart at the seams. 

I want someone who understands how difficult things can become in the blink of an eye. Not someone who lives inside of a fantasy land. Not someone who thinks the world is fair. Not someone who assumes everything is going to fall into place for them without putting in any effort.

I want someone who is realistic. Someone who knows the world is a fucked up place, but finds a way to survive anyway.

I want someone who is strong. Strong enough to make it through the worst days of their life. Strong enough to keep me afloat when I’m going through the worst days of mine.

I want someone who appreciates where they are now because they have been in worse places in the past. Someone who knows how fortunate they are right now, to be alive in this moment.

I don’t want someone perfect. Someone who comes from the perfect family, has the perfect face, and makes the perfect amount of money. 

I want someone who has had their world shattered. Someone who understands why I have so much baggage, so many trust issues. Someone who is as messed up as I am.

I want someone who can calm me down when I freak out, because they know exactly what to say. Someone who doesn’t run away the second things get hard because they realize one bad day isn’t the end of the world. Someone who is able to hold my hand tight when the relationship becomes complicated instead of letting go and leaving. 

I want someone who understands what I have been through. Someone who looks at me like an equal, not someone who pities me, not someone who feels bad for me because my life is so difficult. I want someone who understands where I am coming from. Someone who respects me, even though I am flawed.

Most of all, I want someone who understands why it’s so hard for me to love and helps make it easier.