I Am Slowly Learning To Take Care Of Myself

A girl who takes care of herself
Unsplash / Kristina Bratko

I am slowly learning to rely more heavily on myself, because no one else is going to take care of me. Growing older means I can no longer ask my parents or my friends to fight my battles for me. I cannot expect them to go out of their way for me when they have their own issues to deal with on a daily basis. I am self-reliant. I am a survivor. I am capable of protecting myself, caring for myself, loving myself. It is up to me to shape my world into something of value. I cannot ask anyone else to do that for me.

I am slowly learning to accept my insecurities. Instead of arguing with my reflection, I have made amends. I look at myself and see past the parts of my body that bring out my deepest insecurities. Instead, I focus on the soul beneath the skin. The personality hidden three layers deep.

I am slowly learning to take responsibility for my actions instead of displacing the blame. My automatic response to something that I caused to go wrong is no longer to yell about someone else screwing me over. From now on, I am acknowledging my own role in the situation and admitting that I could have handled things better. That does not mean I blame myself. It means I am no longer going to see myself as a victim who has things happen to her. It means I see myself as someone with power who has the potential to change situations for better or for worse.

I am slowly learning to deal with my emotions in the healthiest way possible. Instead of reaching for a bottle when my day brings unwanted stress, I reach for a friend. I search for a kindred spirit to talk things through with, whether it’s someone I can meet for coffee face-to-face or a stranger from a group I’ve found online. I run toward someone, anyone, who understands my situation, who has been in a similar situation, to help myself feel a little less alone.

I am slowly learning to take care of myself, both in complicated ways and in basic ways. I am keeping my laundry folded in their drawers instead of tossing them onto carpets and tables. I am washing the makeup from my face at night instead of letting my laziness win and leaving it. I am answering my emails when they arrive instead of putting it off until later. I am eating right and exercising and staying far away from my triggers. I am doing my best to become my best.

I am slowly learning to strike a balance between being selfish and selfless. I am determined to place myself first from now on, but I cannot sacrifice my kindness in the process. I will still be there for friends. I will still be there for my family. But I will also be there for myself. I will love myself. I will pamper myself. I will take responsibility for myself. TC mark

The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved.

You don’t have to solve your whole life tonight. You just have to show up and try. Focus on the most immediate thing in front of you. You’ll figure out the rest along the way.

Start Now

More From Thought Catalog