You Aren’t Supposed To Hate Yourself This Much

 

You aren’t supposed to make self-deprecating jokes about how you are going to die alone.

You aren’t supposed to expect people to disappoint you because you feel like they are out of your league, like they could do so much better than you, like you don’t deserve them anyway.

You aren’t supposed to freak out when things are going surprising well in your life because you are waiting to screw everything up.

You aren’t supposed to apologize twenty times per day because you feel like you are being a bother just by existing.

You aren’t supposed to compare yourself to everyone else you see because you assume that they have something you don’t have, something you should have.

You aren’t supposed to keep thinking about the mean things someone said to you ten years earlier, even though you forget the compliments you receive seconds after hearing them.

You aren’t supposed to zone in on your flaws every time you look in the mirror because you are too blind to see the good in yourself.

You aren’t supposed to shake your head when someone compliments you because you don’t believe kind words when they’re aimed in your direction.

You aren’t supposed to make casual comments about how fat or short or ugly you are because you want to point out your flaws before someone else points them out for you.

You aren’t supposed to keep quiet when you have something to say because you feel like your opinion is worthless and no one wants to hear from you anyway.

You aren’t supposed to punish yourself with self-harm or self-hatred for all of the mistakes that you’ve made.

You aren’t supposed to think that every little thing that goes wrong in life is somehow your fault, that you are somehow always the one to blame.

You aren’t supposed to assume that you are going to fail before you try, so you don’t even bother trying at all.

You aren’t supposed to call it luck when something good finally happens in your life instead of admitting that you worked your ass off to get there.

You aren’t supposed to be this hard on yourself. You aren’t supposed to hate yourself this much.

You are supposed to be a friend to yourself. You are supposed to compliment yourself. You are supposed to lift yourself up, not keep knocking yourself down to the ground.

Instead of constantly criticizing yourself, you should work on changing the pieces of yourself that you have control over and accepting the pieces of yourself that are never going to get any different. You have to learn to love the person staring out from your mirror.

You have to stop hating yourself so much, because no one else feels that way about you. You are harder on yourself than anyone else is. You have more mean things to say about yourself than anyone else does.

And that way of thinking needs to end now. That needs to end today. Because you deserve love. Especially from yourself.