Stop Putting Effort Into Your Almost Relationship

Girl in an almost relationship

Pexels / Achilles Demircan

Stop putting effort into a one-sided relationship. Stop giving him everything when you know damn well you will continue to get nothing in return.

Stop texting him first when there is a bigger chance he will ignore you than answer back. Stop suggesting times to hang out because you know that he will never do the planning himself. Stop spending hours doing your makeup to impress him, taking twenty different selfies to impress him, going miles out of your way to impress him.

He hasn’t earned such special treatment. If he is only giving you 20% you shouldn’t overcompensate by giving him 80%. You shouldn’t treat him like he is already your boyfriend when he still treats you like some random girl. You shouldn’t reward him with the same things that he is unwilling to give you.

Up until this point, you’ve been far too kind because he keeps giving you breadcrumbs of affection. Little signs that show his interest. And that keeps you hanging on. That keeps you thinking that you have a chance. That he likes you, too. That it’s only a matter of time until you become an official couple.

You’ve been taking his mixed signals as a positive sign when you should really be viewing them as a sign to run. As a sign that he doesn’t care about you half as much as he should. As a sign that you are the one who is more invested.

He doesn’t appreciate what you do for him. He doesn’t understand how fortunate he is to have someone who will bend over backwards to please him. If he did, then he would show respect by answering your texts on time. By showing up when he promised he would. By doing you favors without being specifically asked.

If he realized how lucky he was to have you in his world, then he would be ready to commit. He wouldn’t be stringing you along like this. He wouldn’t be telling you how much he misses you without rearranging his schedule to see you, and he wouldn’t be claiming that he likes you so much without bothering to slap a label onto the relationship.

You have put so much effort into looking good for him, into making him laugh, into making him like you — and he repays you by taking it all for granted.

You need to remember your worth. You need to remind yourself of how much you have to give and how little you have gotten in return.

Do the smart thing and stop putting in effort because you are wasting it on the wrong person. There is someone else out there who will be thankful for every text you send, for every date you plan, for every kiss you give. There is someone out there who will help you realize that you have been settling for far too long and now it’s time to raise your standards.

Stop putting in effort because he is not worth it. Deep down, you already know that. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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