I used to think we were going to date. That we were destined to become a couple. We flirted like one. We looked at each other like we were falling hard.
But then, out of nowhere, you stopped answering my texts. You stopped hanging out with me. You stopped being a part of my life. You disappeared without a word, without an explanation.
I spend a long time questioning what I might have done to push you away. I wondered if you got bored of me or if you found someone else. I spent a while hating myself, because I thought that it was my fault. If only I was prettier, smarter, better, then maybe you might have stayed.
And now, after weeks of silence, you’re trying to walk back into my life as if nothing happened. As if things are completely normal. As if you’ve done nothing wrong.
You dropped off the face of the planet without telling me what was running through your mind and now you’re back and you’re still not filling me in.
It’s clear that you want things to go back to the way they were before, but I am not going to let that happen. I am not going to let you walk in and out of my life whenever you please.
The worst part is that you aren’t even acknowledging what you’ve done. You didn’t text me saying I’m so sorry for not keeping in touch, I know I’ve been a shitty friend, I never should have done that and I hope you forgive me. Instead, you said hey, you asked how I was doing, you acted like there wasn’t an elephant smack dab in the middle of the room.
I want to be happy that you’re back. I’ve spent so long missing you that it would make sense for me to enjoy the moment. To be thankful for your return. To be excited that I have another chance with you, that maybe this time we could make us work.
But honestly, it would have been better if you stayed away. As much as I hated you being gone, as much as I hated never having closure, I hate this even more.
Because now, after seeing you stroll back into my life like it was no big deal, it’s clear that you aren’t upset about what you’ve done to me. You aren’t willing to own up to your mistake, to take responsibility for your actions. You don’t feel bad. You don’t even care.
After what you put me through, I think I deserve an explanation. I deserve to know why you left for so long — and why you suddenly decided to return. If you can’t give me the truth, then I can’t give you any more pieces of me. I can’t act like things are perfectly fine between us, like things are just like they used to be.
You don’t get to walk back into my life like you never left. You don’t get to erase what you’ve done to me. You don’t get a second chance.