He treats you like shit. He doesn’t deserve to date you.
Maybe he cheats. Maybe he tries to control you. Maybe he drinks too much. Maybe he hits you.
No matter what kind of cruel things he does, when you finally decide that you have had enough, that you deserve better and can’t take his poor treatment anymore, he instantly changes his tune. He worries about pushing you away. He worries that you will actually leave this time.
He cries his eyes out, swearing that he is sorry, that he will change, that everybody leaves him in the end. He looks harmless. Broken. In need of love.
He makes you feel bad for him by listing out all of the shit he has gone through in the past that has turned him into the person he is today. He makes you feel bad by talking about how everybody leaves him, how it always happens, how it’s about to happen again. He makes you feel bad by telling you how much he loves you — even though he doesn’t always show it, he loves you, he loves you so much, he’s never loved anyone else this way and never will again.
He looks so sad, so vulnerable, that you are convinced that maybe he will change. Maybe he does deserve a second chance. Maybe your relationship still has a shot.
And then he does it again. The cursing, the drinking, the cheating. And then the tears, the sorries, the please-feel-bad-for-me-and-never-leave-me.
You have stayed with him for far too long because you have a good heart. You see the best in people, you believe in second chances. And you love him. During the good days, when he is normal, he treats you so well and you can’t help but love him. He is so damn sweet on those days.
But just because you love each other, it doesn’t mean that you are supposed to end up together. It doesn’t mean that your relationship is good for either of you.
The next time that you try to leave your toxic relationship, do not let him turn the situation around and blame you. Do not let him make you feel bad by saying that everyone leaves him and you’re just like everybody else, you’re going to leave him too.
Maybe there is a reason why everyone has left him. Maybe he is not ready for a real relationship. Maybe he has to grow on his own before he can even think about dedicating his life to someone else.
In the moment, he might mean it when he says he is sorry. He might mean it when he says that he will try to be better. He might mean it when he says that he is going to change.
But he won’t mean it for long. Soon he will be back to doing what he has always done. He will never actually change.
You are the ones who has to change the situation. And that will only happen by leaving. Leaving and never looking back.