I cannot give you another chance. I have run out of them. You don’t deserve more of them. You have hurt me one too many times. It would be stupid for me to stick around. Everyone is telling me to leave and I know that they are right.
I need to walk away from you, because that is what is best for myself, and I have to start looking out for myself. I have to do what is right for me.
But I wish you would give me a reason to stay. I wish that you would promise to change and then actually take the steps to change. I wish that you would put effort into this relationship for once. I wish that you would surprise me. I wish that you would fight for me. I wish that you would try for the very first time.
I wish that you would give me a good enough reason to stay, because I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to throw away everything that we have built. I don’t want to walk away from you. I care about you. I love you. I want to be with you forever.
I want you to show me that you care about me too. Give me a sign that you will be a better partner in the future. Show me that you would be devastated to lose me and would do anything to stop that from happening. Prove that sticking around would not be a mistake. That leaving would be the mistake.
Unfortunately, so far, you have not given me a reason to stay. You just keep giving me more and more reasons to walk away. More and more reasons to give up on everything that we could have become.
Instead of pulling me closer, you keep pushing me away. Instead of apologizing, you keep making excuses. Instead of promising to change, you keep repeating your bad behavior.
Instead of putting in effort to fix what is broken between us, it feels like you would rather leave the pieces scattered across the floors. And that is why I cannot do this anymore. I cannot be the only one who tries. I cannot be the kind of person who clings onto a relationship that is meant to end.
As much as I want us to last, it is time for me to leave. It is time for me to say goodbye to the fights, to the self-loathing, to the mixed signals, and to the half-ass effort that you have been giving me. It is time for us to go our separate ways, even though there is still love between us. Even though the last thing I want to do is put you in my past.
I mean it when I say that I wish that you would give me a good enough reason to stay. But that is never going to happen. We are over. And I have to learn to accept that truth.