Normally, she is the kind of girl who doesn’t give a fuck. She doesn’t set out to impress people. She doesn’t care if she’s liked. She does her own thing.
But when she likes someone, everything changes.
When she likes someone, she struggles to do little things, things as simple as sending a text back. She will stare at her screen, reading and rereading what he wrote, trying to come up with the most flirtatious response.
She might even dip into her notes app so that she can practice what she is going to say before she sends it. She doesn’t want him to see those three dots appearing and disappearing, revealing that she is trying to create the perfect text. She wants it to come across as casual.
Of course, she also overthinks every text that he sends. She reads into every emoji, every piece of punctuation. She tries to figure out what it means when he takes two seconds to reply versus when it takes two hours to reply. She attempts to psychoanalyze him through her phone.
When she likes someone, she even overthinks the things he posts on social media. She wonders if he’s related to the girl he keeps uploading photos with his arm around, or if she is his next girlfriend. And when he posts about a show or band she happens to love, she thinks that it is a sign they are meant to be together. She thinks it proves how compatible they are.
When it comes to her own social media, she purposely posts pictures that she thinks he’ll find attractive. And after she uploads them, she wonders why he liked the last picture of her but not the most recent one (is it because he didn’t see this one yet? or did he lose interest in her?).
Of course, she also overthinks whether or not she should like the pictures that he posted. Whether or not she should comment on them or leave them alone. She doesn’t want to seem desperate by paying too much attention to him, but she doesn’t want him to think that she’s ignoring him either.
When she likes someone, she overthinks the clothes she wears when she knows she’s going to run into him. And whenever she gets the chance, she will check herself in a mirror or her phone’s camera to make sure that her makeup didn’t smudge and her hair has stayed in place. She hates putting so much emphasis on her appearance, but she wants to look good in front of him. She wants to impress him.
After she talks to him face-to-face, she will spend the rest of the day replaying the conversation inside of her head. Wondering if she should have said something differently. Guessing whether the interaction made him like her more or less.
And when she hasn’t heard from him in a while, when he goes MIA, she wonders what he has been doing. She worries that he has a girl in bed with him. That he has found someone else that he likes more than he ever liked her.