What It Feels Like To Find Your Forever Person After Only Dating Assholes

Girl with her forever person
Unsplash / Amber Zewert

When you find your forever person, you are thrown off guard. You aren’t used to the way that he texts back fast and listens closely when you speak. You are even surprised by little things, like having the door held open for you and being picked up at your house instead of driving to dinner yourself.

You aren’t used to someone looking you deep in the eyes and admitting how they feel instead of hinting at it. You aren’t used to someone being straightforward instead of sending mixed signals, instead of wasting time playing games.

Even though this person feels different from the start, you keep your guard up just in case. You’ve been hurt before and don’t want to repeat the mistakes of your past. So you move slow. You act cautiously.

And this guy doesn’t mind. He doesn’t care if it takes you weeks to open up to him. If it takes you months to sleep with him. If it takes you years to commit to him.

Unlike all the others boys you’ve been with in the past, he never raises any red flags. He never throws a fit when another boy, a platonic friend, talks to you. He never complains about how low-cut your dresses are or wrongly accuses you of cheating. He never pressures you to take off your clothes when you aren’t in the mood and he never whines about how he wishes you would cook more.

He treats you right. He treats you the way you deserve.

His behavior is refreshing — but it is also kind of scary, because it is so different. You are used to waiting hours to text back and keeping your emotions bottled up inside. You are used to modern dating rules.

But he breaks all of those rules and you’re not sure how to react. Are you actually supposed to tell him how much you like him, too? To text back the second you get his message? To be your authentic self?

With him, you experience relationship firsts. The first time you really open yourself up to someone. The first time you truly trust someone. The first time you honestly believe you could spend the rest of your life with someone.

When you find your forever person after a lifetime of dating assholes, you cling on tightly. After all, you know how hard it is to find a good guy. You know how lucky you are to be in a relationship with the love of your life.

You don’t want to mess this relationship up. You don’t want to lose the best thing that’s ever happened to you. So you work your hardest, you put in all of your effort — and the crazy thing is, he’s doing the same exact thing. He’s giving you just as much as he’s getting. He’s acting like your true equal.

When you find your forever person, you finally see what it’s like to be loved back. You finally experience love the way it is meant to be experienced.

And that is why there isn’t a doubt in your mind that you belong with this person. TC mark

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