I Like You Enough To Let You Hurt Me

I like you enough to give you the benefit of the doubt when you shower me with excuses about why it took you so long to text back and why you canceled plans at the last second. Instead of calling you out on your bullshit, I force myself to believe you. I let you get away with murder, because I don’t want to chase you away by confronting you — even though I have every right to do so.

I like you enough to ignore the advice of friends and family who tell me that you’re no good for me. That I deserve better. Instead of listening to what they say and leaving you behind to search for someone who fits me better, I keep my faith in you. I hope that something will click inside of your mind and you’ll realize that I’m the one you’re supposed to be with until the end.

I like you enough to forgive you for all of the ways you’ve hurt me in the past. Instead of bringing up your old mistakes every opportunity I get, I have brushed them beneath the rug. I have forced myself to ignore all the horrible things that you’ve done, all of the ways that you have disappointed me before, because I want to move forward with you instead of backward.

I like you enough to answer your texts whenever you need me, even though it takes you days to get back to me. Even though I can sit there for hours, struggling to keep my eyes off my phone, wondering if you are ever going to reply to me. Wondering why I seem to matter so little to you when I’ve been nothing but nice.

I like you enough to set up plans with you, even though there is always a risk that you will cancel. I’ll still shave my legs and apply my makeup, but the whole time I’ll be wondering if it’s worth it, if you’ll actually go through with seeing me this time or if you’ll come up with another excuse for why you have to bail.

I like you enough to keep quiet instead of forcing you to settle down and make a choice. When I see you texting other girls, I hope that I mean more to you than they do. When I see you flirting with your friends, I hope that you’ll decide to pick me in the end. I’ve given you the freedom to explore your options, because I’m hoping that you’ll figure out what you want soon.

I like you enough to put in effort — even though you fail to do the same. Even though I am the only one planning hangout sessions. The only one who texts first and tries hard to continue conversations. The only one who gives a shit.

I like you enough to accept poor treatment. Even though I know my worth, even though I can see what you’re doing to me, I’m letting it continue to happen. I’m not putting an end to it like I should have a long time ago because I am worried that you will leave me for good — and that is the last thing I want.

The problem is that I like you too much. I like you enough to sit back and wait for you to shatter my heart.