1. You have angry sex. You use sex as a coping mechanism. Whenever you are pissed off at your partner or feel like you are about to cry, you have sex to avoid dealing with those feelings. You have sex to distract yourself from how you’re really feeling.
2. And then you have make up sex. Instead of sitting down and talking through your issues, instead of giving your person the apology they deserve after an argument, you say sorry by initiating sex with them. Instead of actually fixing any of your problems, you try to forget about them by having sex.
3. Honestly, all you ever do is have sex. You never go out to dinner and a movie. You never play video games or board games together. You never really talk. When you’re alone together, you fill the silence with constant sex, because you don’t know what else you would possibly do with each other.
4. You have sex to show your love. Sex can be an expression of love, but it shouldn’t be the only expression of love. If you never say those three little words to your partner or buy them cute little presents or put in effort outside of the bedroom, then they will assume you are using them. That you only want them for their body.
5. You use sex to get what you want. When you are annoyed that you aren’t getting your way, you seduce your partner to convince them to give you what you want. Instead of using sex as an intimate way to connect with your person, you use it as a weapon to control your person.
6. You use sex to comfort them. When your person is upset, instead of listening to their problems and offering comforting words, instead of reminding them you are there for them and helping them through the pain, you jump into bed with them as a distraction. You assume you can fix everything with an orgasm when they might need something more than that.
7. You have sex to punish someone else. To punish your ex for leaving you. To punish your parents for raising you wrong. To punish yourself for something you did in the past. It’s dangerous to use sex as a form of punishment when it’s supposed to bring pleasure.
8. Hands down, the best part of the relationship is the sex. If someone asked you what your favorite thing about your partner was, you would say the sex. Other than that, there’s nothing you really enjoy. Not their jokes. Not their laugh or their voice. Not their personality. Only their looks and the way they make you orgasm.
9. You end up hurting yourself (or someone else). Your body can only withstand so much. You don’t want to keep having a sex marathon, even when you’re feeling discomfort down there. You don’t want to bring yourself pain instead of pleasure.
10. If you’re being honest, you don’t always want sex. You don’t owe your partner your body. You don’t have to sleep with them seven times a week because you think it’s the only way they will stay around. If they really love you, they will be happy to spend time with you, with or without sex.