Politeness has become such a rarity that everyone assumes she’s flirting with them. No one understands that she’s just nice. That she treats everyone like that.
She accidentally leads other people on by holding open doors and answering texts quickly and giving genuine compliments. By being a decent human being.
She is sometimes accused of being a tease, simply because she’s sweet. And then she’s forced to find a way to let these boys down gently because the last thing she wants to do is break a heart.
She hates modern dating because there are unwritten rules about acting heartless. She is expected to turn down dates the first time she’s asked and pretend like she’s busy to appear hard to get — but that’s not her style.
She doesn’t like to lie, and she doesn’t see the point in acting like she cares less.
When she cares, she shows it. She showers the other person with attention. She treats them like they matter — because, news flash, they do matter.
She hates modern dating because fifty percent of it takes place over text or a dating app or a late night DM.
She wants to look someone in the eye and make an actual connection with them, but she never has a chance to do that when conversations happen from miles away. Strangers stay strangers. They never become her real friends, and certainly never become her boyfriends.
Besides, the blunt way people start conversations over the internet scares her off. Call her old fashioned, but she would rather lead up to the sex talk than discuss it right off the bat. She’s not a prude, but she’s not interested in only sex, either.
She hates modern dating because, unlike most boys she meets online, she likes to talk about her emotions. If she is upset, then she expects to have a shoulder to lean on, and if she is angry, she expects someone to listen to her ranting.
She has always surrounded herself with people who encourage her honesty, so it’s weird for her when boys expect the opposite. When they expect her to keep the truth hidden. When they actually want her to send mixed signals because it’s easier for them to deal with than a serious conversation about where their relationship is going.
She’s not a good liar. She couldn’t hide how she feels even if she wanted to. Her emotions are stamped across her face — and she wouldn’t have it any other way.
The way she sees it is, if she likes you, you deserve to know. How else would you start a relationship with her? How else would you two grow as a team?
She hates modern dating because she isn’t interested in any of the games people keep trying to play with her. She isn’t interested in dodging certain topics because they’re too serious or timing how long until she’s allowed to answer a message.
Sweet girls like her hate everything about modern dating, because she’s supposed to act the opposite of how she would naturally act. But she’s not willing to do that. She’s not willing to sacrifice her true self to find a boyfriend.
Holly Riordan is the author of Lifeless Souls, available here.