The Murder Weapon You Would Use To Kill Your Victims, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Twenty20 / smashleytime

Aries: March 21st – April 19th

You’re impulsive, which is why you would use anything around you. A lamp? A statue? A baseball bat? You’d grab whatever was nearby and smash the person in the skull with it. It would happen before you even realized what you grabbed. You’d act that fast. You’d move before thinking things through.

Taurus: April 20th – May 20th

You hold strong enough grudges to want to kill someone, but you don’t really have the heart to go through with hurting someone. That’s why you would use a gun. That way, you wouldn’t have to get up close. You wouldn’t have to get any blood on your hands. You wouldn’t have to see what they looked like as they died.

Gemini: May 21st – June 20th

You would use a match and some gasoline to light their whole house on fire. When you’re angry, you’re angry, so it wouldn’t be enough to just kill them. You’d want to destroy everything they’ve ever loved. Their house. Their clothes. Their photographs. Fuck all of it.

Cancer: June 21st – July 22nd

You hate confrontation, so you would never walk up to someone with a knife and stab them in broad daylight. You would kill them sneakily. While they’re asleep. You’d grab a pillow and suffocate them, so that they wouldn’t have much of a chance to fight back.

Leo: July 23rd – August 22nd

Your murder weapon would be more of a murder location. You would kill someone inside of their bathtub or while they were swimming in the ocean. You would drown them, so that as long as nobody saw what you did, you would get away with it. It might even look like the tide killed them.

Virgo: August 23rd – September 22nd

You’re always outside. You like to work with your hands, to garden. That’s why you have plenty of shovels and hammers and saws stored away that you could use if anyone ever pissed you off badly enough. You could use those tools to make a bloody mess — and also to bury the body once you’re finished.

Libra: September 23rd – October 22nd

You’re patient, so you would get your revenge in the most cautious way possible. By waiting for them to end up sick and tampering with their medication. Or by taking them on a hike and then pushing them off a cliff to their death. You would be willing to wait for the right time to make your move.

Scorpio: October 23rd – November 21st

You’re tough. You don’t go looking for trouble, but if someone starts a fight, you’re going to finish it. That’s why you wouldn’t have any problem using a knife. Feeling their skin tear. Watching their eyes fade to white. Trying to think of an excuse before the cops came.

Sagittarius: November 22nd – December 21st

You aren’t really the type to hold a grudge. So if someone made you angry enough to murder them, it would be a spur of the moment thing. You wouldn’t meticulously plan out the murder, buy a weapon on the black market, and then return to make your move weeks later. You would act now by using your own hands. You would beat them to a pulp and then leave them for dead.

Capricorn: December 22nd – January 19th

Since you’re intelligent, you would go full Walter White and use a poison like ricin to murder your victims. That way, the doctors would have a hard time detecting it in their system and you would get to walk away without any jail time. Besides, you’re too malicious to use a gun or a knife. You would take pleasure in the fact that the poison was killing them slowly.

Aquarius: January 20th – February 18th

You have a creative mind, which is why you would never use a common weapon that could be traced back to you and your fingerprints. You would steal an idea from your favorite crime films and use an ice pick to stab someone through the stomach or the eye. That way, the evidence would melt away before the cops showed up to examine the body.

Pisces: February 19th – March 20th

You would strangle someone to death — but not with your own two hands, because that would be too personal. You would use a rope or an electrical chord or anything you could find to get the job done. That way, you could stand behind them and do it. You wouldn’t have to see the damage you’re inflicting, which would make it easier for someone softhearted like you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Holly Riordan is the author of Lifeless Souls, available here.

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