The Most Painfully Awkward Thing About You, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

God & Man

Aries: March 21st – April 19th

You are the worst at goodbyes. You never know when you’re meant to go in for a hug, a handshake, or a cheek kiss. To add to that, you hate being touched by people you aren’t already close with, so when near-strangers try to hug and kiss you, you stand there like a board.

Taurus: April 20th – May 20th

You’re too much of a pushover. You’re the friend that always ends up walking on the grass instead of the sidewalk. The friend that always gets talked over while in the middle of speaking. The friend that can never find the right time to jump into conversations, so you stay silent instead.

Gemini: May 21st – June 20th

There are some people you have zero tolerance for. When you happen to run into them in public, which you always do, you avoid eye contact. And then you sneak away — or you just bolt away like a crazy person, even if they’ve already noticed you. You’d do anything to avoid a conversation with them.

Cancer: June 21st – July 22nd

You never want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, so you never correct them — even when you should. Even when they have something as important as your name wrong. You just let people pronounce it however they want. You let them get it wrong, because you would feel weird correcting them after all this time.

Leo: July 23rd – August 22nd

When someone speaks too low or too fast, and you have no idea what they’re saying, you still nod along and pretend like you heard them. Like you agree with them. And sometimes this backfires on you and you have no idea how to respond to the conversation. It sucks.

Virgo: August 23rd – September 22nd

You’re so polite that you always make the same mistake. Whenever someone wishes you a happy birthday, you say you too. Whenever someone tells you to enjoy the movie, you say you too. It happens all the time and you never stop being embarrassed about it.

Libra: September 23rd – October 22nd

There’s nothing you hate more in this world than small talk. What are you supposed to say to what’s up? You have no idea. You can have deep, meaningful conversations with ease, but when it comes to mindless chatter, you stumble over your words because you don’t know how to respond.

Scorpio: October 23rd – November 21st

People have a tendency to take your sarcasm seriously. You’re always accidentally offending people, because they read too far into what you’re saying. They don’t realize that you’re joking and take your words literally, because you look dead serious. But in your mind, that makes them the awkward ones, not you.

Sagittarius: November 22nd – December 21st

You hate walking up to strangers and asking for help. That’s why you’ll circle around a store ten times looking for a specific product. You don’t want to approach a worker. You would rather waste your time wandering around for an hour and eventually find it yourself.

Capricorn: December 22nd – January 19th

You laugh at the worst possible times. During serious situations where people will judge you hard for cracking a smile, let alone bursting into laughter. But you can’t help yourself. You find terrible things funny.

Aquarius: January 20th – February 18th

You’re as clumsy as they come. You’re always knocking over shampoo bottles in the shower, stumbling down the stairs, and spilling food across your shirt. You’re a complete mess, but you’re used to it by now.

Pisces: February 19th – March 20th

You hate being out in public alone. It makes you feel uncomfortable, which is why you always have your phone in your hand. Even if you don’t have anyone to text, you type word jumbles on your screen to make it look like you have friends. To make it look like you’re successful and busy and not-to-be-bothered. TC mark

Holly Riordan is the author of Lifeless Souls, available here.

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