I don’t want to miss you.
I don’t want to text you before I fall asleep at night, my phone nestled beside my pillow so I hear the notification even if I doze off. I want to fall asleep with your arms around me, with my head pressed deep against your chest.
I don’t want to wake up to something sweet on a screen, saying that you hope I slept well and have a great day. I want to wake up to the sound of your voice telling me to get my butt out of bed, to the smell of bacon wafting from the kitchen because you got up early and wanted to surprise me with breakfast.
I don’t want to go out with my friends and tell them about all of the sweet things you’ve sent lately. I want you to go out with us, to help me tell the cutesy stories about our relationship. To share the experience with me so I don’t have to fill you in later.
I don’t want to get random text messages throughout the day, telling me how much you miss me and how you wish you were there with me. I want you to actually be there with me. I want your fingers curled between mine and your lips pressed against mine.
I don’t want a relationship over a screen. I want a relationship in person.
I want to see your face, not an emoji that matches the expression you’re wearing. I want to hear your voice, not imagine the way that you sound as I read the words you typed out to me.
I want to look you into the eyes, not stare at an unblinking selfie. I want to feel my body on top of yours, not sext you about unfulfilled fantasies.
I want you. In the same house as me. In the same room as me. Always.
As much as I love the texts from morning until midnight, they aren’t enough to satisfy me. I’m still longing for more. More than words. I need to feel your flesh. I need your breath to puff out against me.
I need something more than this.
I need kisses against my forehead. Hugs from behind. Shared drinks. Whispered secrets.
I want to have conversations so deep that they don’t fit on an iPhone screen. I want to feel my heart race when I see your face, and not just when I see your name.
I don’t want to feel obliged to carry around my charger and complain whenever my battery gets low, because that’s the only way I ever hear from you. I don’t want to stay up past my bedtime and be tired for work because I was waiting for another text.
I want you there, right in front of me, to hold and kiss and touch. I want access to your hands, your hips, your entire heart.
I honestly don’t think I’m asking for much. All I’m asking for is you.