It’s Okay To Be Upset About Your Almost Relationship Ending

God & Man

It is okay to be just as torn apart about your almost relationship ending as you would have been if an official relationship had ended.

It is okay to be upset about losing someone you never actually dated.

You are allowed to go through the same stages that you would go through during a breakup — days where you feel confusion, anger, sadness, and regret. Days where you aren’t sure if you can find the energy to make it out of bed, let alone make it to work.

It is okay to cry your eyes out over the fact that he didn’t feel the same way about you.

It is okay to replay moments with him in your head over and over again until it feels like torture.

It is okay to have trouble concentrating on anything else in your life because he’s the only thing occupying your thoughts.

He wasn’t your boyfriend, but he was close enough, so you are going to feel sad. You are going to feel angry. And you should embrace those emotions.

It is okay to delete him from your social media, because seeing his face is too much for you to take.

It is okay to stop answering his text messages because you aren’t comfortable being his backup plan.

It is okay to curse him out while you’re alone in your car because you can’t think of any other way to cope.

It is okay to cut him out of your life, even though he feels like he didn’t do anything wrong.

You didn’t have to date him to get attached to him. He didn’t have to date you to break your heart.

Even though he never asked you out on an official date or put a label on your relationship, there was still something special between you. No one can argue that. You two felt sparks. You two just clicked.

The fact that he’s gone now doesn’t change the fact that you once experienced intimate moments. The same kind of moments that boyfriends and girlfriends share.

That’s why it is okay if you can’t stop talking about him to your friends.

It is okay if you still reach for your phone to text him before stopping yourself.

It is okay if you feel more pain from this would-have-been-could-have-been relationship than you’ve ever felt before.

You’re not acting irrationally. These feelings aren’t unwarranted. They make sense, because you spent hours and hours of your time with him. You got close to him. You really thought you knew him.

That’s why it’s normal for you to feel like you’ve just been stabbed in the back.

It’s normal for you to be jealous whenever you see him with the girl who replaced you.

It’s normal for you to feel like your stomach has been crunched and your heart has been trampled.

Almost relationships can be just as intense, just as passionate, just as real as an official relationship. So never feel stupid for crying over him.

Never feel dumb about missing a boy you never actually dated. TC mark

Holly Riordan is the author of
Severe(d), A Creepy Poetry Collection.
Pre-order your copy here.

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