This Is Why It Takes Introverts Forever To Find Their Person

Unsplash / Abdiel Ibarra

Instead of walking up to someone and asking them out on a date, you stare at them from afar, silently hoping they’ll get the hint and approach you.

Your friends encourage you to go for it, to ask them for their phone number, to at least say hello. But something as simple as that is hard for you. It seems like an impossible task.

You’ve always been the type to people watch. You love seeing how humans interact with each other — but you’re only social on certain days. On other days, all you want to do is keep to yourself. You don’t want to use up your energy on socializing.

Because you need time to recharge after being out all day. You’re not the kind of person who can bar hop, who can party for three nights in a row. You need a break in between. You need time to yourself.

Dating is hard for you, because you don’t always feel like talking, like answering phone calls or sending texts.

And even if all you’ve been dying to do is chat with your crush, it’s hard to figure out how to start a conversion. You hate small talk, so you don’t want to say hey what’s up, you don’t want to bore each other. You want a real, in-depth conversation, which can be hard to start.

And even if you get along with someone over text, there’s no telling whether you’ll actually get along in person. You’re better at typing than talking, you’re more comfortable expressing yourself over a phone than face-to-face.

You might think you have chemistry with them until you actually see them standing in front of you, which sucks, because dating apps are the easiest way for you to find potential partners.

It’s hard for you to meet people in real life, because you have a small circle of friends. You’ve been hanging out with the same group for years, so it’s not like you’re going to meet someone new during a get together.

So where are you supposed to meet your soulmate? Not on a bus or a train, because you read during your commute. Not at a bar, because it’s too loud and uncomfortable. Not at a concert, because you can’t stand being stuck inside of crowds.

You like your personal space, which is why flirting is so tricky for you. You don’t want anyone to tickle you or push your hair behind your ear or hug you — except for that one person you have feelings for.

They’re the only exception, but they have no idea, because you don’t show any signs of attraction toward them. You get quiet when they walk into a room. You turn your head when they try to lock eyes. You act nervous when they approach you.

Some introverts have a hard time finding love, because they never let their feelings show. Because they act like they couldn’t care less about the one person they can’t stop thinking about. Because they’re so scared of rejection that they refuse to put themselves out there.

And other introverts have such a hard time finding love, because they’re comfortable being alone. They aren’t on the search for someone to complete them, because they already feel whole. Because they’ve already found happiness on their own. TC mark

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