It doesn’t matter if you had an almost relationship with him or if you were his official girlfriend. If you cared about him, you cared about him. If you fell in love with him, you fell in love with him.
Your heartbreak is valid. Don’t let anyone make you feel silly for being upset about a boy leaving. Don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t have gotten so attached to him.
Even though he’s not technically someone that you dated, it still feels like he’s an ex. What else would you call him? An old friend? He was more than that. A guy that you used to hook up with? He was more than that, too.
He was someone that you trusted with your secrets. Someone that you talked to on a daily basis. Someone that you hugged and kissed and cuddled. Someone that you could once imagine a future alongside.
He might not be your ex-boyfriend. But he’s still an ex. An ex-almost-boyfriend. An ex-one-night-stand. An ex-friend-with-benefits. An ex is someone that you cared about. Someone that you spent time with and laughed with and loved.
That’s why you’re allowed to be upset about him leaving. Don’t feel like you should get over your heartbreak faster because you were never together. Don’t feel like you’re stupid for feeling upset in the first place.
It hurts when someone leaves, no matter who that person is, no matter what their title was.
Even though he’s not officially an ex, he still feels like one, because your heart latched onto him. When his name popped onto your phone, you got goosebumps. When you spent too much time without him, you felt physically sick. When you saw him face-to-face, it seemed like everything was finally falling into place.
You might not have called him your boyfriend, but you treated him like he was your boyfriend. You put in effort. You were always there for him.
He meant the world to you, he still does, even though you’re unsure if you ever meant something to him. Even though he might not remember your name in a few years, let alone your eye color or the way your voice sounded.
But it doesn’t matter if he was stringing you along or if his kisses were filled with genuine pleasure, because he’s gone now. You have to move on. You have to accept that you had feelings for him and that those feelings need to disappear.
You have to be strong and say goodbye. You have to leave him behind — and that’s going to suck. It isn’t going to be easy.
He might not be an official ex, it might not be an official breakup, but this hurts just as bad. So don’t feel stupid about how much you’ve been crying, about how many texts you’ve written out and erased.
It’s going to be hard to get over him. Because even though he wasn’t your official boyfriend, you loved him like he was.