She knows that she has a lot to give. That she deserves someone who loves as hard as she does.
But there are nights when she questions herself. When she wonders why a boy that she treated so well would screw her over. Maybe she’s not pretty enough. Maybe she’s not interesting enough. Maybe she’s just not enough.
She has moments of extreme insecurity — because who wouldn’t doubt themselves after getting cheated on? She gave her whole heart to someone, trusted them to treat it gently, and they shattered it into shards.
Her questions are normal. Her dip in confidence is justified. She’s earned those breakdowns.
Of course, once the tears fade and her mind clears, she stops blaming herself. She realizes that she didn’t do anything wrong. That she wasn’t the reason why he hurt her. He didn’t cheat, because she turned down sex too many times. Because she didn’t wear enough makeup. Because she didn’t pay him enough attention.
He cheated, because he wanted to cheat.
He was the problem, not her. Maybe he was insecure and needed an ego boost. Maybe he was restless and tired of kissing the same girl. Maybe he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship and wanted to sabotage it.
No matter what the reason was, she knows that she’s better off without him. That it’s a good thing she uncovered the truth so she can move on with her life. So she can find someone that is actually loyal. Honest. Committed.
As much as she misses her ex, she’s glad it’s over, because it’s tiring to look over her shoulder every two seconds. To stalk his social media. To check his texts. To question him when he comes home late or smells of perfume.
She doesn’t want to be the nosy, overbearing girlfriend. She wants to be the cool girlfriend with the loyal boyfriend.
Even though she’s been cheated on in the past, even though she’s worried about it happening again in the future, she has hope that she’ll find a boy that believes in being faithful.
Honestly, she’s terrified to love again, but she’s smart enough to know that not all relationships are like the one she came out of. Not all boys are like her two-timing ex.
Eventually, she’s going to find someone who lets her know exactly where he’s going when he leaves the house. Who texts her when he’s running late. Who would never even think about flirting with any of her friends.
She’s going to find someone that tells her everything and hides nothing. Someone that deserves her trust.
Someone that would never cheat on her, because she’s more than enough for him.