His Last Relationship Might Have Ended Badly, But That’s Not An Excuse To Treat You Like Shit

Unpslash, Nilton Oliveira

He’s been hurt before. He has memories he doesn’t want to relive. He has baggage weighing him down.

But, the thing is, everyone has baggage. Even if you’ve never been in a romantic relationship in your life, you still have baggage from your single days or from when a best friend or a parent mistreated you.

Everyone is fucked up in their own way. He’s not special for being brokenhearted.

It’s natural for him to be wary of entering a new relationship when the last one ended so badly. That’s okay. He’s human and he’s allowed to have feelings, fears.

But he’s not allowed to hurt you to avoid getting hurt himself.

He shouldn’t be pulling you close when he knows you want the one thing that he isn’t capable of giving to you — a relationship. Because it’s not fair for you to text him, cuddle him, kiss him, and then find out that he’s not ready to date. That his last girlfriend left him lost. That he wants to stay single.

He has to move passed his past if he wants to have a future with you. And if he’s not ready for a new relationship, that’s okay. He can wait. He can take all the time in the world, but he shouldn’t expect you to stick around until he’s ready.

But if he is ready, if he wants to put in the effort to be with you, then he can’t keep using his ex to justify his actions.

It doesn’t matter if that ex cheated on him. It’s not an excuse for taking total control over you. He shouldn’t be telling you who you can and cannot hang out with, what time you should be getting home, and how much of your own money you’re allowed to spend.

You shouldn’t be punished for the mistakes the last girl made. You’re not her. You haven’t done anything to hurt him. He should trust you.

Yes, he’s been fucked with in the past and it’s hard to get over that type of betrayal, but you’ve been hurt too and you still try to treat him with as much love and respect as your heart can hold. You’ve given him a blank slate and he should do the same for you.

Never settle for a boy that uses his ex as an excuse to treat you like shit. It doesn’t matter how much pain he carries on his shoulders, because that doesn’t mean he has the right to treat you like a criminal, like it’s only a matter of time until you hurt him too.

Not every girl is going to copy the mistakes that his ex made. If he’s blind to that truth, then he isn’t in the right frame of mind to date yet.

Besides, if a guy really liked you, if he was really ready for a lifetime with you, he wouldn’t be hung up on his past. He’d only be thinking about you and the future you two could have.

He’d push aside his fears to take a chance on you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark 

Related

More From Thought Catalog