Thought Catalog

Having High Standards Does Not Mean You Are ‘Too Picky’

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Unsplash / Allef Vinicius

Having high standards doesn’t mean that you’re too picky. It doesn’t mean that you refuse to date boys that are under six foot tall or that you need a man that makes six digits on every paycheck.

It means that you want to be valued. Understood. Respected.

You shouldn’t feel guilty about turning someone down if you aren’t attracted to their mind or body. You’re supposed to have standards. You’re not supposed to settle.

Ignore the people that claim you’re searching for something unreachable. The boys that call you a bitch or a tease, just because you expect to be treated with basic human decency.

Having high standards doesn’t mean you’re picky. Since when did it become picky to want someone that will text back? Someone that will make you feel special? Someone that will stay the night after sex?

It’s healthy to know what you’re looking for, what you need in a partner. There’s nothing wrong with having deal breakers. Maybe you don’t want someone that smokes. Maybe you don’t want someone that parties every night or dabbles with drugs.

That’s okay. It’s okay to know what you want.

Unless you’re turning someone down based on their hair or skin or eye color, you aren’t too picky. As long as you aren’t judging them based on their car or their shoes or their voice, you aren’t too picky.

As long as you aren’t creating a super specific checklist that only one percent of the population actually meets, you aren’t too picky.

Never feel bad about the fact that you love yourself. Never question whether you should lower your standards. You should hold out for what you really want.

You should wait for the person that makes your heart swell — because settling is never going to make you happy.

You deserve to be in a relationship with someone that laughs at your jokes and squeezes your hand during movies and finds it hard to sleep without your body pressed against them.

You might not find a fairy tale love, but you can find something close to it. You can find a person that makes you feel like your life is better than any storybook, despite all its flaws.

You’re not picky, as long as you understand that your forever person isn’t going to look exactly like you imagine him in your daydreams. He isn’t going to be the specific person you were searching for. He’s going to be better.

Remember, you can’t expect to find someone perfect. But you can find someone that fits you perfectly. Don’t give up until you do. TC mark

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