You thought he liked you, because he gave you every reason to feel that way. He touched you. He texted you. He told you that you were pretty. Maybe he even kissed you, made out with you, had sex with you.

He didn’t tell you that he wasn’t looking for anything serious, because he knew you weren’t on the same page and didn’t want to break the illusion for you. He didn’t want to lose you by admitting that you wanted way more than he was willing to give you.

He knew that the truth would ruin everything. That, as soon as you found out about his intentions, you would cut him out of his life. So he lied to you — by saying nothing and letting his actions speak for him.

He strung you along with compliments and kisses. He kept flirting. He kept teasing. He kept giving you reasons to believe he wanted to date you, but he never actually said the words. He never said that he liked you, that he missed you, that he wanted to become your boyfriend.

Why?

So, when he decided to date someone else or randomly stopped answering your texts, he could claim that he had no idea that you had feelings for him (he did). That he didn’t realize he was leading you on (he did). That you were never actually his girlfriend and have no right to be angry with him (you do).

He’s acting clueless to save his own ass. He knew exactly what he was doing from the start. He knew that his actions would end up hurting you, but he didn’t care. He wanted you around. So he put his needs before yours.

That’s why you shouldn’t feel bad about falling for him. Don’t reprimand yourself for not seeing the signs earlier. For letting him string you along for weeks, months, years. For being blind to his truth.

You’re not an idiot for believing he had feelings for you. It wasn’t your fault. It was his. He tricked you. He knew how you felt, so he knew how to manipulate you. He played the game and played it well.

But you can’t let one shitty snapshot of love ruin your perspective on it.

One day, you’ll find a guy that wears his heart on his sleeve. A guy that says what he means instead of turning his feelings into a guessing game. A guy that actually explains that he wants to take you on a date, not just that he wants to hang out, and admits that he loves your laugh and your lips, not just the shape of your body.

That guy is out there. And you’ll find him. One day, you’ll find someone that holds your hand, looks you deep in the eyes, and admits that he wants to be your boyfriend. Your husband. Your forever.

And then you’ll forget all about the boy that broke you apart in 2017.