She has high standards. She won’t settle for boys that treat her disrespectfully. She won’t hold onto friendships that are toxic. She won’t let anyone that brings her down remain in her life. 

But she isn’t a hypocrite. She holds herself to those same standards.

She expects herself to reach the stars, so she hates herself on the days when she sits in bed with a bag of chips and skips the gym. On the days when she doesn’t get enough done.

Of course, no matter how much she accomplishes in life, no matter how much love she gives, she keeps pushing herself further. She wants to do more. To be more. Because she knows she’s capable of more. 

She’s insecure, because she believes in her potential and she knows that she hasn’t reached it yet. She trusts that she’ll succeed, but wishes that she could see more progress. She wants to know that she’s on the right path. That her faith is justified.

No one sees how terrified she is. No one notices that she’s struggling to stay strong.

She looks like she has it all together, so friends don’t think she needs any reminders of how beautiful and talented she is. They stay quiet when she’s secretly screaming for their encouragement. When she needs someone to tell her she’s been doing her best and that her best is good enough.

She may seem like a superhero, but she’s still human. She still needs support. She still needs her friends.

And those friends are part of the reason why she’s so insecure. She’s selective about who she keeps close, so if you’re in her life, you matter. She feels like you deserve the best, so she wants to give you everything. As much happiness as she can.

But that’s impossible to do. She can’t control the lives of others — but she tries. She tries to take her boyfriends on romantic dates and find them the perfect birthday gifts. She tries to take her friends on fun nights out and cheer them up after breakups. She tries to make her parents proud.

And it drains her. Taking care of herself is hard enough — add that to trying to take care of everyone else — and it’s a wonder how she survives.

But she does. She finds enough energy to make it through her days with a smile. Because she isn’t the type to give up. She’s a fixer. She’s a giver. She’s an achiever.

Even though her insecurities might slow her down, they never stop her. She ignores the nagging voices in her head that tell her she’s too stupid or too ugly or too inexperienced.

She does what she sets out to do — even when she’s not sure if she can succeed.

Really, you can’t blame her for feeling insecure. She’s that way, because she has high standards. Because she never thinks she’s earned enough. Because she knows what she could be and isn’t going to stop until it becomes her reality. 

Severe(d) is a creepy poetry collection by Holly Riordan
that glows in the dark! Get your copy here.