13 Women In Long-Term Relationships Talk About How Often They Initiate Sex

Milly Cope
Milly Cope

1. “I’m always climbing onto his lap. Pressing my butt against him when we cuddle. Walking around the apartment in my towel. I don’t know if that counts as me initiating or him. I feel like I tease him and then he technically makes the first move.” — Jess, 24

2. “I have a suuuuper low libido. So I really only have sex when my boyfriend initiates it. Otherwise, sex doesn’t even cross my mind.” — Kayla, 21

3. “I don’t mind making the first move. I do it just as much as he does. The only thing is, if I have to initiate more than three times in a row, I get self-conscious. I feel like he isn’t interested in me anymore. And then I just get depressed and all the horniness goes away.” — Lauren, 26

4. “Oh, I do it all the time. When I’m bored, I’ll get on my knees and blow him. And when I’m wet, I’ll grab his arm and order him to eat me out. I’m blunt like that.” — Jasmine, 25

5. “I probably initiate about thirty percent of the time. It’s not often. But it’s not rare. Like, if I catch him singing (he has an amazing voice) or if he plays the guitar for me, then I’m all over him. Or if he cooks for me… There are certain triggers that make me want him. I’m sure it’s like that with every girl.” — Veronica, 25

6. “I start kissing him first all the time. But it’s not because I want sex. I just want kisses. And then he usually turns it into sex. I’d be happy with just a make-out session. But I think that still counts as me initiating it?” — Tiffany, 19

7. “He’s actually complained to me about the fact that I never make the first move. Said it makes him feel unattractive. Like I’m having sex with him as a chore instead of doing it for fun. I’m glad he talked to me about it, because our sex life is better now. I make a point to initiate at least once or twice each month.” — Bailey, 30

8. “I’m shy, so I try to hint that I want sex by snuggling up close to him. Or I’ll text him to meet me in the bedroom. It’s easier to say what I want over text. I do that pretty much every week.” — Monica, 28

9. “I’m actually more… sexual adventurous, I guess is the phrase. So I try to initiate sex all the time when we’re out in public. At home, not so much.” — Lisa, 23

10. “It’s 50-50 with us. I initiate half the time. He initiates the other half. Is that a boring answer? I don’t know. It’s the way it works with us, though.” — Jacqueline, 22

11. “I probably make the first move three or four times per month. It’s always during those few days before my period starts. That’s when I get horny. The rest of the month, he’s the horny one, so he typically initiates.” — Chelsea, 29

12. “I do all the initiating. 100% of it. But it’s because I’m a control freak. Whenever he wants sex, I turn him down. I like planning out when it’s going to happen. Thankfully I’ve found someone that doesn’t consider my schedules psycho.” — Cheryl, 20

13“I have no clue who starts it half the time. It just happens. Like our brains are connected and we had the same idea at the same time. One second we’re sitting side by side. The next second we’re fucking.” — Evelyn, 22 Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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