1. Wearing the same exact pair of boxers all the damn time.

2. Taking your junk out through the hole in your boxers when she’s giving you a blowjob instead of actually removing your clothing (especially if there’s a cartoon character on them that she’d be forced to stare at).

3. Misjudging where the clitoris is and rubbing her in a random spot that does nothing for her.

4. Frequently eating food that you know is going to make your semen taste disgusting.

5. Assuming that she’s ready for penetration, just because she feels wet (it might just be discharge, guys).

6. Refusing to eat her out, because you don’t like the taste.

7. Expecting her to continue riding you, even though it’s clear she’s worn out, instead of putting her into a new position and taking control.

8. Telling her to orgasm for you. You’re trying to sound sexy, but all she hears is that she’s taking too long.

9. Arguing with her every time she asks you to put a condom on, even though she’s only trying to be responsible.

10. Looking at the wall or the headboard or the television instead of looking her in the eyes.

11. Letting your fingernails grow too long and then trying to finger her with them.

12. Expecting her to immediately return the favor every time you go down on her or give her a massage.

13. Kissing her when your beard is scratchy — it’s super painful and is going to turn her face all red.

14. Getting pissed off when she turns down sex.

15. Putting her into the same exact positions every time you have sex. And using the same dirty talk lines without slipping in anything new.

16. Repeatedly trying to do something that she’s already told you is off limits.

17. Constantly asking questions about what position she wants to be placed in instead of making a decision yourself.

18. Letting the dog or cat into the room (or even worse, onto the bed).

19. Skipping foreplay and going straight for sex.

20. Turning down sex whenever she initiates it (not because you’re tired, but because you want to make her see how rejection feels).

21. Pushing her head toward your body when she’s giving you a blowjob.

22. Making any non-positive comment about her body, like that she needs to shave soon.

23. Lasting so long that she starts to feel sore.

24. Comparing her to someone else you’ve had sex with in the past.

25. Trying to schedule sex instead of letting it happen naturally.

26. Being a dead fish while she does all of the work, all of the time.

27. Forgetting to brush your teeth and put on deodorant beforehand.

28. Closing your eyes to fantasize the entire time instead of enjoying her body.

29. Trying to have sex with her when your mother is in the next room, close enough for her to hear.

30. Falling asleep as soon as you orgasm without giving her what she needs.