1. Get her turned on ahead of time by giving her a shoulder massage or telling her how sexy she is. If you reach down there and start rubbing hard before she’s even a little wet, then you might hurt her. The friction doesn’t always feel good. The timing has to be right.
2. Instead of using your fingers, get on your knees and find her clit with your tongue. It’s fine (even encouraged) to kiss her thighs and her lower lips, but make sure you eventually make contact with her clit. That’s the magical body part that’s going to make her orgasm.
3. If you decide to insert a few fingers, don’t lose focus on the clit. You have to remember, your body works differently than hers. Penetration isn’t her main concern. For the majority of women, penetration feels nice, but it doesn’t cause an orgasm, whether you’re using your fist or your penis. So don’t stop touching that clit.
4. When you’re having sex and she feels extra tight, don’t compliment her on it. Realize that it probably means she’s not wet, which means she’s not turned on. To fix that, go straight to the clit. Rub it while you’re inside her.
5. If rubbing your fingers against her and thrusting into her is too much to handle at once, then grab a vibrator to rest against her. You can even let her control it, which means your hands will be free to do whatever you’d like.
6. When women have trouble orgasming, it’s typically because they’re tense. So try to initiate sex when she seems at ease. Touch her in the morning when she’s still half-asleep. When you’re cuddling on the couch together. When her muscles are relaxed.
7. Move your fingers (or tongue) in different directions. Up and down. In circles. Figure eights. Try everything. Anything.
8. Don’t stare at the television while you’re touching her. Look at her. Give her attention. Whisper about how lucky you are to have her. Get close so she can smell your cologne. Let her taste your chapstick. Turn her on with touch, taste, sound, sight, and scent.
9. Be patient. Women take a while to orgasm, so don’t get pissed at her after ten minutes have passed or feel like a sexual failure. Give it a little more time. Don’t let her see that you’re watching the clock tick, or she definitely won’t reach orgasm.
10. The only thing more important than her clit is her thoughts. Ask her what she wants and she’ll tell you. It really is that simple.