He’s the boy you tell all of your friends about, but purposely leave out the details that make him look like an asshole. He’s the boy that you daydream about taking a road trip with, but never actually bring up the idea. He’s the boy you think you have a future with, even though he won’t make plans a week in advance.
He’s the boy that doesn’t want anyone else to have you, but doesn’t want to be stuck with the responsibilities of being your boyfriend, either.
He’s not the boy you had a one-night stand with. He’s not the boy that ghosted you, the boy that treated you like shit, the boy that made it clear you were being used for sex. No, he did something so much worse. He stayed for a little too long. He made you feel a little too much. He made you believe that your relationship would blossom into something more.
He never labeled you as his girlfriend, never actually promised you the things you expected from him, but that didn’t matter, because everything he said and did suggested that he wanted all of the same things you wanted. At times, he could act distant, sure, but you assumed he was always on the edge of spilling his feelings for you. The ones he’d kept hidden for so long.
But he’s not hiding anything.
He still hasn’t committed to you, because he’s not ready for a real relationship. Or because he’s not fully convinced that you’re the right one for him. Or because he’s a stupid, clueless boy that’s lost in his own chaotic world. The reason doesn’t matter. The results matter. The fact that he’s not going to stick around matters.
Because he’s not going to stick around. And when he leaves, it’s going to hurt like hell.
It’s going to hurt, because he treated you like his girlfriend, even though you never were. It’s going to hurt, because — even though he never took you on an official date or held your hand in public — he made you believe that it was only a matter of time until those fantasies became a reality.
It’s going to hurt, because he led you on enough to break your heart, but not enough to feel guilty about breaking your heart.
In his mind, he didn’t do anything wrong. He never gave you a ring. He never told you he loved you. He never promised you he’d stick around. Technically, he was innocent. Technically, you overreacted.
You know that’s not the full truth, but it doesn’t matter. Not to him.
The worst relationship of your life will be with a boy you’re semi-serious with, because you won’t realize it’s semi-serious. You’ll think that he’s ready to jump into a real relationship with you, that you’ve finally found the man that you were on the lookout for. You’ll be so obsessed with the idea of dating him that you’ll miss all the signs that he doesn’t want to settle down.
And, before you know it, your soul will be squashed and your heart will be shattered.