1. We’re downers. Our best friend met a new guy? We want to be happy for her, but instead we’re searching for red flags. Trying to save her before he hurts her.
2. We sabotage our own happiness. We’re used to the misery. The tears. The disappointments. Happiness is foreign to us. We expel it from our bodies like a germ.
3. We make assumptions. If a boy seems interested, we’ll assume that he’s either leading us on or is using us for sex. We don’t consider the possibility that he wants an actual relationship. Since when does a boy want to date us?
4. We laugh at romantic gestures. If a man uses some cliche line on us about how we’re an angel that fell from heaven, we won’t find it sweet. We’ll find it sappy. Unrealistic. Stupid as shit.
5. We can get a little nasty. Our motto is: hurt you before you hurt us. We’d rather leave your texts unanswered than wait for a reply that’s never going to come. We’d rather be the ones in control.
6. We fall hard for unobtainable men. Mostly, celebrities that we’re never going to meet. Men that don’t have the ability to break our hearts, because we understand that they’re never going to be ours.
7. We keep secrets. It doesn’t matter if you’ve known us for years. There are some stories we’ll keep hidden from you in order to protect our hearts. You don’t need to know everything.
8. We don’t take love seriously. When someone asks us why we’re still single, we’ll say that we’re planning on dying alone. Or that we’re holding out for a sugar daddy. We feel like love is a joke, so we might as well treat it like one.
9. We flirt with everyone. We don’t expect anything to come of it. We just want to have some fun. Besides, it’s dangerous to focus on only one man, because then he has the potential to hurt us.
10. We point out plot holes in movies. It’s hard to enjoy a film when the fuckboy on screen decides he’s going to give up the single life for the ‘perfect’ woman he met. It just doesn’t feel realistic. We can’t take it seriously.
11. We put up with toxic people. It’s not unusual for us to get drunk and text our asshole exes. So what? They’ve hurt us before. They can hurt us again. We’re used to it.
12. We have hope that things will change. Despite all the pain love has brought us, we still want to believe that it’s out there. We’d never admit it aloud, but we’re still expecting to find Mr. Right one day.