Thought Catalog

12 Things Girls Accidentally Do Because They’ve Been Hurt One Too Many Times

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Thought.is
Thought.is

1. We’re downers. Our best friend met a new guy? We want to be happy for her, but instead we’re searching for red flags. Trying to save her before he hurts her.

2. We sabotage our own happiness. We’re used to the misery. The tears. The disappointments. Happiness is foreign to us. We expel it from our bodies like a germ.

3. We make assumptions. If a boy seems interested, we’ll assume that he’s either leading us on or is using us for sex. We don’t consider the possibility that he wants an actual relationship. Since when does a boy want to date us?

4. We laugh at romantic gestures. If a man uses some cliche line on us about how we’re an angel that fell from heaven, we won’t find it sweet. We’ll find it sappy. Unrealistic. Stupid as shit.

5. We can get a little nasty. Our motto is: hurt you before you hurt us. We’d rather leave your texts unanswered than wait for a reply that’s never going to come. We’d rather be the ones in control.

6. We fall hard for unobtainable men. Mostly, celebrities that we’re never going to meet. Men that don’t have the ability to break our hearts, because we understand that they’re never going to be ours.

7. We keep secrets. It doesn’t matter if you’ve known us for years. There are some stories we’ll keep hidden from you in order to protect our hearts. You don’t need to know everything.

8. We don’t take love seriously. When someone asks us why we’re still single, we’ll say that we’re planning on dying alone. Or that we’re holding out for a sugar daddy. We feel like love is a joke, so we might as well treat it like one.

9. We flirt with everyoneWe don’t expect anything to come of it. We just want to have some fun. Besides, it’s dangerous to focus on only one man, because then he has the potential to hurt us.

10. We point out plot holes in movies. It’s hard to enjoy a film when the fuckboy on screen decides he’s going to give up the single life for the ‘perfect’ woman he met. It just doesn’t feel realistic. We can’t take it seriously.  

11. We put up with toxic people. It’s not unusual for us to get drunk and text our asshole exes. So what? They’ve hurt us before. They can hurt us again. We’re used to it.

12. We have hope that things will change. Despite all the pain love has brought us, we still want to believe that it’s out there. We’d never admit it aloud, but we’re still expecting to find Mr. Right one day. TC mark

I asked women to tell the story behind one of their Instagram photos 📸

“This is me on the roof of my building forcing myself to laugh. Every time I make my best friend take photos of me I remember that I’ve been single for 5 years and don’t have anyone to be in the photo with me. I’m just alone. My hair looks good though.”

This is the reality of Instagram...
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Cut yourself some slack. One of the biggest regrets most people have about their 20s is that they didn’t enjoy them more. And I’m not talking about “buy more expensive dinners, take another trip to Thailand” type of enjoyment. I mean having the ability to take a deep breath and sip coffee in the morning knowing that you have done, and are doing, your best.

“These essays are slowly changing my life, as the title promises. As my friends’ birthday come along, they will all be receiving a copy of this wonderful book.” – Janie

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