When He’s Your Dream Guy One Day And An Asshole The Next Day

Jesse Herzog
Jesse Herzog

Your feelings for him aren’t going anywhere.

After weeks of complaining about him, you decide you’re finally going to say goodbye–and that’s the exact moment when he decides to be adorable again. He flirts with you, compliments you, and reminds you why you liked him so much in the first place. It’s impossible to get over him, because every time you think you’ve had enough, he changes his tune.

You have no idea how to treat him.

You never know how to behave around him, because it’s like he has two completely different personalities. When you text him, he’ll either text back in two seconds with a flirty reply or he’ll completely ignore you. He’ll either remind you why you should keep fighting for him or remind you why you shouldn’t be wasting your time with him.

He puts in the minimum amount of effort.

He doesn’t go out of his way to make you happy, but he puts in just enough effort to keep you hanging on. He’ll pick up a coffee for you if he’s already going to Starbucks himself. He’ll tell you personal details about his childhood, but only because you brought up the subject. He doesn’t actively try to be a part of your life. But he does enough to make you think he cares.

He shares intimate moments with you.

You’re the type of person that thinks a kiss means something. Sex means something. Even those tiny glances that you shared in a roomful of people mean something. But you can’t tell if he actually gives a shit about those “significant” moments. He never tells you what he’s thinking, and when he does, you can’t tell if he’s lying to get what he wants from you. When it comes down to it, you really don’t know him at all.

You can’t tell if you’re single.

Should you be exploring your other options? When you flirt with other men, you feel like you’re cheating on him, even though you’re pretty sure he’s been flirting with other girls. Maybe even sleeping with them. You don’t want to be a sucker, sitting around waiting for a man that’s never going to commit, but you don’t want to run off and ruin your chances with him, either.

He has constant mood swings.

When he treats you right, you feel like the luckiest woman in the world. Nothing can snap your smile, even a fight with your parents or a sucky day at work. But when he treats you like crap, you question yourself. Are you too ugly for him? Too boring? Too predictable? Your mood depends entirely on his attitude.

You’re confused about where you stand with him.

Does he want to be with you or not? He’s the king of sending mixed signals. Yes, you know that everyone says mixed signals mean he isn’t actually interested, but… On his good days, it really seems like he wants to be with you. It really seems like you’d work as a couple. That’s why you don’t know what to do. TC mark

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