You’re always falling for the wrong guys, because you’re used to being treated like crap. You’re used to gathering your friends around your phone, trying to determine what a certain text message meant. You’re used to late nights spent crying into your beer and fighting over pointless bullshit.
You aren’t used to being told you’re beautiful by someone that actually means it. You aren’t used to feeling comfortable and confident in your relationship. You don’t even know if a love like the one you want is a real possibility. You’ve heard about it happening in fairy tales, but you’ve never seen it in person. You’ve never experienced it firsthand. You’ve only experienced assholes.
And those assholes are consistent. You hope they’ll change, that they’ll surprise you with their chivalry, but you know how it’s going to end. You know that they’re going to shatter your heart, and that when it happens, your friends are going to rant about what a jackass they were. And since it’s the truth, you’ll be able to get over them. You’ll honestly be able to say, “I’m better off without him.”
But what if you fell for a genuinly nice guy? What if you put all of your time and trust in him, and then he broke your heart, anyway? It would catch you off guard. The shock would be too much to handle. And you wouldn’t be able to say you were better off without him, because you’d know it was a lie. You’d know that you were actually better off with him, and that it would be close to impossible to find another genuinly nice guy like him.
So you settle. Instead of risking it with a good guy, you go for the guy that shows his true colors from the start. The guy that’s clearly an asshole. The guy that doesn’t deserve a second of your time.
But you don’t think dating him is a big deal. You’ve seen how horrible your friends’ relationships are. Things could be worse. For some fucked up reason, you think you’re being greedy if you complain about how he never texts you first or invites you out with his friends.
“At least he takes me out to dinner. At least he goes down on me. Some guys wouldn’t even do that.” That’s what you tell yourself. That’s why you keep falling for the wrong men over and over again.
It’s because you don’t realize what you deserve. Your friends, magazines, and random quotes on the internet tell you that you’re beautiful, that you deserve the world. You might even repeat those mantras to yourself. But the words haven’t sunk in yet. They don’t carry any significance, because you don’t believe them.
But you need to learn to believe them. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck with the wrong men forever. With men that make you doubt their loyalty and your beauty and the idea of love.
You can’t help who your heart latches onto, but you’re in total control of which men you choose to actually date. So don’t settle for the shitty ones.