1. Stop him in the middle of sex so you can go pee.
2. Use your teeth during a blowjob.
3. Put your clothes back on the second that sex is over.
4. Fake an orgasm.
5. Be rough with his balls.
6. Avoid eye contact, because you’re embarrassed about your body.
8. Repeat the sayings you’ve heard in porn word-for-word.
9. Remain completely silent.
10. Make unrealistic, exaggerated moans.
11. Allow the dog or the cat onto the bed with you.
12. Give him hickeys.
13. Scratch so hard that it draws blood.
14. Ask constant questions to see if he likes what you’re doing.
15. Spit after a blowjob.
16. Kiss him after a blowjob.
17. Compare him to one of your exes.
18. Expect him to go down on you when you never go down on him.
19. Fall asleep in the middle of sex.
20. Put a finger in his ass without his consent.
21. Laugh at him when he tries to talk dirty.
22. Sit there and do absolutely nothing while he does all of the work.
23. Look at the clock.
24. Fish for compliments.
25. Play with his nipples (or really, with anything) without his consent.
26. Climb into the exact same position every single time you have sex.
27. Ask him for a threesome with another man.
28. Pretend to be having a good time when you’re actually miserable.
29. Call him the wrong name.
30. Bring out the handcuffs and nipple clamps without talking to him about it beforehand.
31. Expect him to initiate sex every time, instead of doing it yourself.
32. Talk about your day, your chores, or anything else, aside from dirty talk.
33. Complain about how bloated you are.
34. Give him blue balls.
35. Act like you’re not in pain when you are.
36. Get pissed when he calls you a dirty little slut, even though you know he didn’t mean it as an insult.
37. Say anything negative about his body, even if it’s how his stomach is so “comfy.”
38. Talk about how fat you are or how much you hate your body.
39. Turn down sex, because you have a headache.