1. He never apologizes when he does something to upset you. In fact, he finds a way to turn the situation around so that you’re the one apologizing.

2. He makes you feel guilty whenever you go out with your friends.

3. He chokes you or slaps you during sex, even though you’ve told him it makes you uncomfortable.

4. He doesn’t want you to wear revealing clothing in front of other men.

5. He claims that he would kill himself if you ever cheated on him or broke up with him.

6. He calls you a bitch or a slut. Even if he’s acting like he’s saying it jokingly, you can tell he’s not joking at all.

7. He insults your appearance by calling you chunky or asking you to lose weight.

8. He purposely embarrasses you when you’re out in public together by telling stories that he promised he would keep a secret.

9. He can’t control his anger. Whenever he’s the slightest bit upset, he throws his phone or punches the wall.

10. He doesn’t let you touch the money in your joint bank account or your shared credit card.

11. He gets louder and angrier when he drinks. And he drinks a lot.

12. He gets jealous easily. He’s made you delete every other man’s number from your phone, even if you only had a platonic relationship with them.

13. He accuses you of cheating–constantly. He installed a GPS tracker on your phone and has called up your boss to see if you’re actually working.

14. The questions never end. Where were you? Who were you with? What time did you leave? Which streets did you take home? He’s not curious about your day. He’s trying to catch you in a lie.

15. He has sex with you, even when you tell him that you’re not in the mood.

16. He gets angry at the drop of a hat. To him, every little thing you do is wrong, from the way you fold the towels to the way you drive your car.

17. He wants to be the only person you spend time with. If you go out for dinner with your parents, he’ll get mad. And if you give the dog more attention than him, he’ll get mad at that, too.

18. He makes subtle comments about how you’re lucky to have him and how you’d never be able to find another man to put up with you if you left him.

19. He gets physical during fights. He might grab your arm or trap you against a wall.

20. He gets insulted easily. If you casually ask him to wash the dishes, he’ll act like you accused him of never taking care of the chores or helping you around the house.

21. Whenever you’re happy, he tears you down. If you get a raise, he’ll point out how he still makes more money than you. And if you get a big promotion, he’ll tell you that you probably slept your way to the top.

22. He hits you. I don’t care if it happened once and he apologized profusely. If he did it once, he’ll do it again.