1. When you have work (or class or a meeting) in ten minutes. Even if you can have a quickie in that amount of time, you’ll still have to fix your hair and redo your makeup. Don’t take the risk.
2. When you get back from the salon. If you just got a wax, wait to show off your hairless bikini line. You’ll be sore down there for a while and you don’t want sex to irritate your skin.
3. When you don’t have a condom. Do you want a STD? No. Do you want an unplanned baby? No. Then do the smart thing and hold off on sex (or at least head down to the closest CVS and pick up a box of condoms).
4. When no one good is around, but you really want an orgasm. Vibrators exist for a reason. Go home and use one.
5. When they make you uncomfortable. I don’t care if you’ve already taken off your clothes and are sprawled out on their bed. If you decide you want to leave, then leave. You don’t owe them anything.
6. When you’re in a relationship with someone else. Cheating is never okay. Don’t convince yourself that it is under the circumstances.
7. When you’re wasted. I don’t care if he’s a Chris Pratt lookalike. In the morning, you might realize he looks more like Chris Christie. Besides, drunken sex isn’t as glamorous as the movies make it seem. It’s sloppy, awkward, and embarrassing.
8. When you know fucking them would fuck up your life. If they used to date your best friend or your sister, don’t even think about inviting them back to your apartment. You don’t want one moment of weakness to ruin a lifelong friendship, do you?
9. When your stomach is killing you. Sex can cure all kinds of things, like headaches and cramps. But if you just ate a bean-filled burrito, don’t let someone stick their head in between your legs. It might not end well.
10. When you want to make someone else jealous. If you want revenge, you can get it without sleeping with some grimy stranger.
11. When you’re not on the same page. If you want a relationship and they want a one-night stand, don’t sleep with them. Sex isn’t going to magically make them change their opinion of you. If anything, it’ll only make them bored of you.
12. When you’re pissed at them. I know, I know, angry sex can be super hot. But if you fuck them before you make up with them, why the hell would they even bother to apologize? Angry sex proves that they can be a dick to you and still put their dick in you.
13. When it’s illegal. I know that some seventeen-year olds look eighteen, but that’s no excuse for sleeping with a minor. Check their license if you have to.
14. When you aren’t in the mood. Don’t fuck someone, just to impress them. Sex is meant to be enjoyed by both parties. If you aren’t in the mood, don’t have sex. “No” isn’t as hard to say as you think it is.