69 Ways To Accidentally Ruin Your Sex Life (And The Rest Of Your Relationship Along With It)

Bianca des Jardins
Bianca des Jardins

1. Only having sex with the lights off, because you’re self-conscious about your body.

2. Faking your orgasms to make your partner feel better about themselves.

3. Thinking about how much weight you’ve gained or how pimply your skin is the entire time.

4. Skipping foreplay, because you don’t think that it’s actually necessary.

5. Wearing unsexy underwear, because you’ve stopped caring about your appearance.

6. Forgetting that the clitoris exists on a woman and that balls exist on a man.

7. Having sex in the same exact position every time.

8. Expecting sex to hurt instead of making sure that it’s comfortable for the both of you.

9. Agreeing to have sex when you’re not in the mood, because you don’t want to disappoint your partner.

10. Wondering if your genitals smell or taste disgusting instead of just enjoying oral.

11. Choosing not to give your partner constructive criticism, even though it would help them learn how to touch you the right way.

12. Just sitting there like a dead fish while your partner does all of the work.

13. Keeping your mouth shut tight instead of talking dirty, or at least moaning.

14. Forgetting to shower, to trim, or to put on deodorant before hopping into bed.

15. Fantasizing about somebody else instead of enjoying the person you’re with.

16. Assuming your partner is fantasizing about somebody else.

17. Being super serious the entire time instead of laughing when something goes wrong.

18. Staring over their shoulder at the television or looking down at your phone to see who just texted you.

19. Refusing to go down on your partner, because you don’t like the taste.

20. Forgetting to kiss each other on the lips and look each other in the eyes.

21. Expecting your partner to know exactly what you want instead of just telling them.

22. Allowing your partner to pressure you into things you’re uncomfortable doing, just to make them happy.

23. Cumming before your partner has the opportunity to cum. Every single time.

24. Watching too much porn, and thinking that real sex is supposed to mimic the sex in adult videos.

25. Letting your pets walk in and out of the room, even though they’re going to jump on the bed in the middle of sex.

26. Moving at the same pace the entire time instead of mixing things up.

27. Glancing at the clock to see how much time has passed, because you just want it to be over with already.

28. Shooting down your partner’s kinky ideas before even giving them a chance.

29. Getting grossed out when someone farts, queefs, or gets a bodily fluid on their hands.

30. Falling asleep in the middle of sex, because you weren’t even focused on what was happening to you.

31. Making your partner get on top of you every single time.

32. Forgetting to listen to their moans to see what they do and don’t like.

33. Letting them take off all of their clothing instead of helping them out.

34. Getting annoyed with your partner when it takes them too long to orgasm.

35. Using sex as a weapon and threatening to stop sleeping with your partner if they piss you off.

36. Forgetting to ask for consent before you try something new, like anal.

37. Teasing your partner all day long and then falling asleep before you actually have the chance to fuck.

38. Making up excuses for why you’re not in the mood instead of just telling the truth.

39. Not using condoms, the pill, or any other type of protection.

40. Forgetting that you’re just as capable of initiating sex as your partner is.

41. Asking your partner to rate their orgasm after sex and asking them if you’re the best they’ve ever had.

42. Having sex at the same exact time every week.

43. Believing lies you’ve been told about sex, like that it’s dirty and just plain wrong.

44. Forgetting to pee after sex, which could lead to a UTI.

45. Refusing to use lube, because you don’t want there to be too “much” wetness.

46. Having sex in the same exact room every week.

47. Having sex in an uncomfortable place, like on top of a dirty bed or inside of a cramped room.

48. Comparing your partner to your ex, even if it’s just inside of your head.

49. Accidentally screaming out your ex’s name.

50. Thinking that sex is all about your partner’s pleasure, and that your pleasure doesn’t matter at all.

51. Going down on your partner less than they go down on you.

52. Never trying out any sex toys, because you think that they’re too kinky for you.

53. Forgetting to tell your partner when you’re about to cum.

54. Being way too loud, even though you know the neighbors are going to issue a noise complaint.

55. Never sending any dirty text messages, because you think you’d sound silly.

56. Never buying any lingerie, because you don’t think you’d look good in it.

57. Getting upset when your partner doesn’t orgasm, because you think you did something wrong.

58. Refusing to share stories about your sex life with your friends, even though they could teach you a thing or two.

59. Getting drunk before you have sex in order to let loose.

60. Crying.

61. Worrying about whether your makeup smudged or if your hairdo came undone.

62. Telling your partner they need to lose weight or making any other negative comment about their body.

63. Telling your partner you need to lose weight or making any other negative comment about your body.

64. Sleeping with someone you don’t trust.

65. Refusing to use protection, even though you’ve been asked nicely to grab a condom.

66. Assuming that period sex and anal sex are off the table, just because they can get a little messy.

67. Not stopping when your partner asks you to stop.

68. Forgetting to compliment them on how sexy their body is.

69. Forgetting to remind them that they’re there for more than just sex and that you genuinly love them. TC mark

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