You’re crazy about boys, but you’re still single. In fact, you’ve been single for a while now. It’s a little bit bizarre being boy crazy and forever alone at the same exact time, but you’ve gotten used to it.
Boys are all you want to talk about.
Some of your friends get annoyed by how often you talk about boys, but they’re your favorite topic of conversation. It’s not like your life actually revolves around men. But when you’re with your friends, you want to bullshit about stupid stuff like the fuckboy who’s been bugging you for pictures of your boobs. Why would you want to ruin the mood by discussing your dead-end job or how the country is going downhill when you could have fun talking about eye candy?
Everyone mistakes you for a total slut.
Since you can’t go a day without talking about dicks, and you can’t go an hour without texting your friends about another hot guy who’s captured your attention, you have everyone fooled. By the way you talk about boys, everyone assumes that you’re an experienced lady with a ridiculously high “number.” But in reality, you can’t even remember the last time you kissed a boy, let alone slept with one.
You alternate between being an amazing flirt and a horrendous one.
You’ve been single for as long as you could remember, so you’ve had plenty of practice flirting. That’s why you’ve mastered the art of eye fucking men from across the room and initiating conversations via text. Of course, for some reason, you’re only a good flirt when you’re fooling around with guys you aren’t all that interested in. When you meet a man you genuinly like, it’s hard for you to flaunt your stuff.
You hate when there aren’t any men around.
What’s the point of dressing up for a party if there aren’t any hot guys around to see your outfit? You can post the picture on Instagram, but it’s not the same. You want to watch a man’s eyes trail over your body once he catches a glimpse of your beauty. You know you’re technically supposed to dress for yourself, and for the most part you do, but you also dress for attention. There’s nothing better than getting complimented by a sexy suitor.
Your vibrators are your best friend.
Who needs the fumbling touch of a man when you can be pleasured by a toy that knows exactly what turns you on? As long as you have vibrators to play with and erotica to read, you’re completely happy. Even if you found a boyfriend with a big D, he wouldn’t be able to make you orgasm as hard as your little toys can, so you know you’re not missing out on anything.
You don’t want to settle for just one guy.
It’s not that you don’t have options. You could get a boyfriend if you really wanted to. The problem is that there are so many guys out there. You don’t want to choose just one (AKA the wrong one), because then the rest will lose interest in you. As much as you complain about the “forever alone” life, you’re not sure if you want to kiss your flirting days goodbye just yet.