I Wanted To Murder My Cheating Boyfriend, But I Did Something Much More Disturbing

“I have a surprise for you,“ Sammie said once I reached his house, his voice singsong. He paused for dramatic effect, and then dangled a key in front of my face. “I made a copy for you. You’re here all the time, and you’re always complaining about how I forget to unlock the door for you, so now you’ll… Now you’ll be able to let yourself in.”

He fumbled in the middle of his ‘cute’ speech, because his bloody phone beeped. This time, I was close enough to see the actual text. I didn’t bother to read the words, because I caught sight of several heart emojis and an eggplant.

I was ready to make my daily trip to the bathroom to tear myself apart, to strip him of the power to hurt me by hurting myself. But before I could rise, I decided against it. Decided to resist temptation and fumble through my purse for the right product.

Most of the items from the cheating boyfriend collection were lipsticks I was meant to swipe on before kissing him. Lipsticks that would make him go down on me. Lipsticks that would make him incompetent. Lipsticks that would cause him physical damage. One of them was even labeled the Kiss Of Death. Probably shouldn’t have bought that one, but it never hurt to be prepared.

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