1. “He would never like me back.”
I don’t care if your mirror, your ex, or your latest selfie is trying to convince you that you’re ugly. I’m telling you otherwise. You’re as sexy as they come. Not only that, but you’re smart and sweet and sensitive. Basically, you’re any guy’s dream girlfriend. So stop assuming that your crush is never going to feel the same way about you. You’re a catch, so start acting like it.
2. “I don’t know how to flirt.”
You don’t have to flirt by flipping your long blonde hair and batting your eyes. You can create your own flirting style. If you’re the funny one in your friend group, seduce him with your puns. If you’re an artist, then show off your drawing skills. Even if you’ve never flirted before, you’ve made friends before. The same things that attracted your female friends to you will attract boys to you. After all, dating is nothing more than fucking your best friend.
3. “If he liked me, he’d make the first move.”
You don’t want to waste your time daydreaming about some asshole who doesn’t give a shit about you. But if he always texts back, listens to what you have to say, and treats you like a true friend, then there’s nothing wrong with making the first move. Maybe he’s shy. Maybe he’s ball-less. Maybe he just sucks at picking up the clues you’ve been putting down. So if you want to kiss your single life goodbye, you might have to make the first move one of these days.
4. “I’m better off alone.”
No one wants to deal with mixed signals, unanswered texts, and canceled plans. That’s why staying single is your best option–until you find someone who can enhance the amazing life you’ve already created for yourself. Don’t push a man away if it would make you happier to cuddle with him than to snuggle up with Netflix. Sometimes, taking a chance on a new guy is better than playing it safe and staying single. When it’s time to take that risk, don’t hesitate.
5. “Relationships always fall apart.”
Your parents might’ve gotten divorced. Your ex might’ve slept with his neighbor. Your friends might be cheating on each other as we speak. But despite all of the secondhand betrayal you’ve seen, relationships really can last. The cute guy you’ve been eying at work could turn out to be your future husband. But even if you end up breaking up with him a month from now, wouldn’t you like to have the best goddamn month of your life? Relationships don’t have to last long in order for them to be worthwhile.
6. “I need to focus on my career.”
Healthy relationships and high-paying careers aren’t mutually exclusive. You don’t work twenty-four hours per week. You have a few minutes to yourself each day that you spend reading or watching TV or getting drunk with your friends. Well, a portion of that spare time could be spent with your boyfriend. So don’t act like you’re too busy to date. If you found someone you liked enough, you’d make time for him.
7. “There aren’t any good guys around.”
If you think that all the men in your particular state are scumbags, then you’re looking in the wrong places. Go to a music festival to find bearded Gods covered in tattoos. Go to an obscure bookshop to find sensitive hipsters that no one understands. Go to Comic Con to find fellow nerds who will play video games with you all day. Figure out what type of guy you’re looking for and then go out and search for him.
8. “I’m waiting for my prince charming.”
There’s a difference between having high standards and unrealistic standards. If you’re waiting for a guy who will take you out on romantic dates and won’t pressure you for nudes, good for you. But if you’re waiting for a handsome millionaire who will shower you with diamonds, then you’ve been reading way too much Y/A. No man is perfect, so you need to find someone whose imperfections make you perfectly happy.
9. “I might get back with my ex.”
Cut your hair, dye your bangs, join a gym–do whatever you have to do to get over your ex. If he comes crawling back, then you can decide whether or not you want to let him back into your life. But until then, don’t waste your thoughts on him. You can’t keep passing up amazing men, because you’re stuck on the one douche who got away. Move on, because your ex probably has.
10. “I’m terrified of getting hurt.”
Once you find the right guy, you won’t mind the pain that love brings. The tear-filled nights when he’s out of town will be worth it, because once you see him again, you’ll get to wrap your arms around him and breathe in his thick scent. The fiery fights at 4AM will be worth it, because once you make up, you’ll get to hear his soft voice whisper, “I love you” into your hair. All of the pain he brings you will be worth it, because it’ll be outweighed by love.