Dating doesn’t have to be torturous. If you’re sick of flirting over text, then just stop. While you’re at it, stop believing these “truths about modern dating.” They’re complete and utter bullshit.
1. You’re going to be cheated on.
By the way our generation talks about attraction, it seems like getting cheated on is inevitable. But it’s not. If you’re with the right person, they won’t sneak away to have sex with your neighbor. They won’t even micro-cheat on you by liking a hottie’s half-naked Instagram pics. Their focus is going to be on you, because they love you. If they cheat, don’t tell yourself that it happens to everyone in this day and age. Break up with their ass and find someone who actually respects you, because cheating isn’t “normal.” It’s a big fucking deal.
2. You have to act like you care less than you do.
Don’t you hate acting like you don’t give a shit about the people you love the most? So does everyone else. There’s no reason to hide how you feel, because the right person will be dying to know if you’re as attracted to them as they are to you. So be blunt. You’ll scare the wrong people away with your honesty, and you’ll draw the right people in.
3. Labels no longer exist.
Don’t hold yourself back from labeling the relationship if it would make you feel better about your situation. Here’s a thought: If they get scared off as soon as they hear the word “boyfriend” or “girlfriend,” then they weren’t meant for you. You need someone who values serious relationships over casual flings. Someone who would jump at the chance to date you. Someone who understands all you’re worth and would never dream of letting you get away.
4. You have to play it cool.
You don’t have to pretend that you’re a social butterfly who would rather party than lounge around on the couch all day long. You don’t have to act like you’re into threesomes and anal, either. Stop playing the part of the person you think everyone wants you to be, and just be yourself. In reality, no one expects you to be as perfect as you’re pushing yourself to be. Besides, “perfection” is relative.
5. You’re going to be lied to.
You shouldn’t expect others to lie to you, just so they can get in your pants. Honestly, if you think someone is fibbing about the college they went to or how much money they make in order to impress you, then why would you want to be with them? Be with someone who is unapologetically themselves, even if they’re broke and illiterate. At least then you’d know what you were getting yourself into. You don’t want a relationship that’s built on lies.
6. Sex doesn’t mean anything anymore.
Sex still means something to certain people. They’re really out there and you can find them if you look hard enough. So if you’re sick of having meaningless sex, then make it clear that you’re looking for something serious. Most people aren’t total assholes. They like to think that you’re on the same page, and that you wouldn’t mind if they slept with you and then never called you again. But if you straight-up tell them that sex means a lot to you and you only want to sleep with suitors you’re serious about, most players will back off. Only the ones who feel like you do will remain.
7. Relationships never last long.
You don’t have to break up before you hit the six-month mark. You don’t even have to get a divorce after one or two years of marriage. Believe it or not, there are couples out there that actually last a lifetime. If you take the time to search for the right person, instead of settling for the first cutie that comes along, then you could make your relationship work. You just have to put in enough effort. Even the best relationships would fall apart without hard work.