1. Instead of slipping into granny panties, buy some cheap underwear with frills and lace that you can save for your period week. If they get ruined, they’ll be easy to replace, but they’ll still look cute, which means you can keep your confidence high instead of feeling like a little old lady with zero sex appeal.
2. Take a relaxing bath. You don’t need romantic music and a glass of red wine, as long as you have a bath bomb. The pretty colors swirling over your skin will make you feel beautiful, even when your period is trying to make you feel like crap.
3. Mark your period off on your calendar, so that it doesn’t creep up on you. If you know when you’re set to start bleeding, then you won’t end up making beach plans that you’ll eventually have to cancel.
4. If you’re in a relationship, tell your boyfriend when the dreaded week has arrived. That way, he won’t tempt you by wearing his skinny jeans and leaving kisses across your neck. He’ll know that you don’t want to be touched.
5. Unless, of course, you do want to be touched. Period sex will help you get rid of those pesky cramps and headaches. So if you want to do the dirty, either throw some towels onto the bed to protect your sheets or slip into the shower where your blood can ooze down the drain.
6. If you want to feel sexy, but are worried about ruining your favorite dress, walk around your house in sweatpants and a bra. Your man will be so focused on your top-half that he won’t even be thinking about your bottom-half.
7. Masturbate. It’ll give you that release you deserve, and you can always clean off your vibrator when you’re done.
8. Exercise. I know it’s the last thing you want to do, but you don’t have to run on a treadmill or do jumping jacks. You can try kickboxing or karate instead. Get all of your frustration out at the gym so you don’t take it out on your friends later on.
9. Stay away from Lifetime movies and The Hallmark channel. Stick to watching sitcoms and comedies, so you don’t burst into tears every five seconds. Crying can be cathartic, but laughter is even better.
10. Even if you’re “one of the guys,” period week is the time to catch up with your female friends. That way, you won’t have immature men asking you why you’re so moody. You can vent to your girls about how heavy your flow has been and they won’t even get grossed out.
11. Eat healthy. Now, I’m not saying you have to toss out your comfort chocolate and torture yourself with salad instead. But if you know that the Taco Bell you’re craving is going to make you sick, don’t eat it. It’ll only make your stomach feel worse and you’re already in enough pain.
12. Avoid the scale. It doesn’t matter if you feel bloated. That feeling is going to go away soon. You don’t need the scale to make you feel any shittier about yourself than you already do.
13. Wear comfortable clothing. It’s not the time to slip into your high heels and little black dress. You can look just as attractive in jeans and a tank top.
14. If you can afford a massage, have a professional work their magic on you. If you’re flat broke, then convince your boyfriend or best friend to give you one.
15. If you realize that you’re being moody for no reason other than the fact that Mother Nature is a skanky bitch, then put down your cell phone. Wait until the mood passes to text your friends. You don’t want to get into pointless arguments with them that you’ll have to apologize for later.
16. Your period will convince you that being a woman is the worst thing in the world, which is why you should listen to female empowerment music. Let Beyonce remind you of how good it is to be a girl.
17. There’s nothing wrong with a little bit of alone time. If you know you’re in no mood to be around others, then lock yourself in your room with a good book.
18. Fill a water bottle with hot water and then rest it on your stomach. It should ease your pain.
19. Give your pet some love. If you don’t own a pet, then find a friend who does and convince them to let you come over to see
their dog them.
20. Set guidelines with your partner. Let him know if you only want to be touched above the waist during period week, or if you don’t mind him slipping his hands in your jeans. That way, he won’t accidentally make you uncomfortable.
21. With that in mind, date someone you’re completely comfortable with. In other words, date someone who doesn’t mind running out to buy you tampons when you’re too crabby to interact with the cashier yourself.
22. When in doubt, sleep. When you wake up, you’ll be a few hours closer to the end of your period.