1. Be patient.
It’s not your fault that it takes you thirty minutes to orgasm when it only takes your boyfriend three. Women take longer to get aroused and they take longer to come. That’s just the way it is. So stop looking at the clock and freaking out when you realize how long your man has been trying to get you off. If you start feeling guilty or embarrassed or anxious, then your body will tense up and an orgasm will never happen. You have to be patient if you want his hard work to pay off.
How the hell is your boyfriend going to make you orgasm if you don’t even know how to make yourself orgasm? Before you see him again, slip underneath the covers and explore your body to learn as much as you can. Do you prefer strokes against your clit or circular motions? Do you like having your nipples played with? What about your ass? Figure out what turns you on the most and then pass on the information to him.
3. Test out new angles.
Even if you love staring into his eyes as you make love, missionary might not be the best position for you. Doggy style or Cowgirl could create a better angle that creates deeper penetration. That’s why you should try as many different positions as you can. You don’t have to flip through Cosmo to find them. Just be creative. Rest your legs on his shoulders. Arch your back. Place a pillow under your booty. Do whatever you can to create new sensations.
4. Try new stimuli.
You don’t have to keep staring at the hair on his chest if it isn’t doing anything for you. Maybe the male body alone doesn’t do the trick for you. Maybe his voice would turn you on more. Maybe his scent would turn you on more. That’s why you should ask him to whisper dirty things in your ear or spritz on that cologne you love. See what he can do to get you wet.
5. Let your partner know what’s on your mind.
If you like something, say something. Make sure he knows how you feel about his performance, so he can tweak his technique. If you’re silent the entire time, or if you moan the entire time regardless of what he’s doing, then he won’t be able to figure out which moves you like the best. So make sure you give him encouragement when he does something that feels good. Otherwise, he won’t know where the hell your head is at.
6. Never ignore your clitoris.
Most women find it impossible to orgasm when a penis is sliding in and out of them–unless their clit is being touched at the same time. So grab your man’s hand and place it in that special spot. He’ll know what to do. And if he doesn’t, you can teach him. Let him watch you masturbate one day if you have to. He’ll find it hot as all hell and it’ll be an essential learning experience.
7. Touch yourself if you have to.
If your boyfriend sucks at multitasking and can’t rub your clit while thrusting, then you should do the job yourself. Reach your hand down and start playing. If your nipples are sensitive, you could play with those, too. Touch yourself the way you wish he would.
8. Get on top.
Even if you’re a lazy fuck and prefer when your boyfriend does all the work, getting on top might make sex more enjoyable for you. After all, you’ll be able to control the pacing and the depth of penetration. Plus, you’ll be in total control of your man’s pleasure. Seeing how horny you make him can be a major turn-on. You might get off when you see that you’re getting him off.
9. Ask for oral.
It’s much easier to orgasm during oral. So if sex isn’t doing it for you, ask your man to go down on you. Then you can sit back and relax while his tongue does all of the work. Of course, you might have to repay the favor later on by giving him a blowjob. It’s only fair.
10. Have a shit ton of foreplay.
I don’t care if your man “likes” foreplay or not. It’s something that you need. He can get hard, just by looking at a painting of tits, but you aren’t going to get wet unless you’re sufficiently prepped. That’s why you should sext hours before you see him, give each other massages, and make-out for as long as you can. Do whatever it takes to get horny, no matter how long it takes.
11. Use lube.
You’re never ever going to orgasm if sex is painful for you. So if you’re even slightly uncomfortable, you should try using lube. It’ll make it easier for your man to slide in and out of you. Of course, lube isn’t a substitution for getting wet. You still need to be turned on in order to have pain-free sex. Even though men claim to like tight pussies, tight pussies are unaroused pussies. No one wants that.
12. Do Kegel exercises.
Don’t get thrown off by the word “exercise.” You don’t even have to get up from your seat in order to do these. Basically, all you have to do is clench and unclench the muscles that you use to stop the flow of urine when you’re in the bathroom. Clench them for a few seconds, release them for a few seconds, and repeat. It’ll make your orgasms stronger when you actually have them.
13. Use sex toys.
It doesn’t matter how big his dick is. If it isn’t doing anything for you, then invest in a vibrator, a butt plug, nipple clamps, or whatever else you think will help get you off. You don’t even have to worry about showing your face at an adult shop. There are plenty of websites that’ll deliver the toys right to your door in an inconspicuous box.
14. Find new ways to relax.
If you want to orgasm, you need to be completely relaxed. That’s why you should find a room that gives you complete privacy, so you don’t have to worry about anyone barging in. Also make sure to have sex on a comfortable bed with soft sheets and pillow. And, most importantly, make sure you’re doing it with the right person. The man can make or break the experience.
15. Stop faking your orgasms.
You know what happens when you fake your orgasms? Your boyfriend assumes that he’s doing everything right. That means he’ll keep using the same moves again and again in the future, because he mistakenly assumes that you like them. So if you want to orgasm for real, you have to stop faking your orgasms. Your boyfriend doesn’t want your pretend ecstasy, anyway. He actually wants to get you off, so be honest with him.