You’re no stranger to existential crises and procrastination. That’s why you need to be with someone who’s always in a good mood, someone who will be able to calm you down when your fear of death distracts you from getting your work done. Basically, you need to find someone who is able to convince you that this cruel, dark world we live in is actually a beautiful place. So keep your eyes open for a joker who can put a smile on your face with their sheer silliness. It’s what you need.
You need to date your best friend. Someone who will create a million inside jokes with you, but will also call you out on your bullshit. Someone who’s willing to play along with your crazy antics, and will come up with antics that are even crazier. And, this should go without saying, but they have to love animals. Your pets are your children, so your partner better be willing to take a bullet for them.
You love to spoil your loved ones. Instead of buying your partner an expensive gift, you’ll make them a scrapbook or write them a list of all of the qualities you love about them. That’s why you need someone who’s comfortable expressing their emotions. Someone who will shower you with as much attention as you give them. Of course, you also need someone who is understanding, and is able to calm you down when you’re feeling anxious. Basically, you need someone who makes you feel safe, even when you’re stuck in a shitty situation.
You don’t want someone who likes you for your looks alone. You want someone who likes you for your adorable, yet bizarre personality. That’s why you could never date someone who gets uncomfortable in awkward situations. Your whole life is an awkward situation. Your partner needs to understand that you’re not always going to say and do the right thing, and they need to love you for it.
Even though you’re old enough and responsible enough to take care of yourself, you’re still a kid at heart. That’s why you need to be with someone who will lounge around with you and play video games on weekdays and will travel around the world with you on weekends. Of course, you’re also a workaholic, which is why you need someone who won’t freak out if you have to spend a few days apart. Your job is just as important to you as your love life.
Some people don’t get your sense of humor, but those types of people are toxic for you, anyway. You don’t need your partner to call you a moron whenever you come up with another clever pun. You need someone who will initially roll their eyes, but then burst out laughing, because they can’t help but think you’re hysterical. You don’t realize you’re a catch, which is why you need to be with someone who appreciates how truly funny, sweet, and talented you are.
You need someone adventurous. Someone who’s willing to jump out of an airplane with you. Someone who’s willing to get drunk off their ass with you. Someone who’s open to anything, because they’ll do whatever it takes to have fun and enjoy life. Of course, as much as you love adrenaline, you should make sure your partner is just as willing to sit on the couch and binge-watch Netflix with you. After all, you won’t always be in the mood to leave the house.
You’re a goofball, so you’re happiest when you’re making other people laugh. You don’t care if your partner is a natural comedian, as long as they appreciate your sense of humor. You’d rather be the funniest person in the room, anyway. Of course, you’re also independent, and would have no trouble living without a partner, which is why you only decide to date when you’re serious about someone.
Some of the stuff that comes out of your mouth is controversial. That’s why you can’t be with anyone who gets offended easily. But even more importantly, you need someone who can see past your jokes. Someone who realizes that you’re not as confident as you look. You need affection just as much as the next person. You just don’t like to admit it, unless you’re joking around.
You’re super cute and creative, which is why you excel in everything that you do. You don’t need someone who has the same exact passions as you do, but you do need someone who’s open to trying the things that make you tick. After all, what would be more fun than lip-syncing with your partner or coming up with roasts together? If they’re willing to take on your hobbies, you’re willing to take on theirs.
You need someone who’s able to take a joke, and can laugh off the things that most couples would fight about. After all, you’re a prankster who loves to take things too far. You don’t care if others think you’re acting childish. You’re having fun, and that’s the most important thing. You don’t understand couples who take themselves seriously. To you, the point of dating is to have a fucking fun time.