I hate people. I try to be as nice to them as I possibly can, but that doesn’t change the fact that I wish 99% of them would leave me the hell alone. With such a pessimistic mindset, it shouldn’t be hard to see why dating is such a struggle for me.
I just don’t want to be bothered.
I’m the type of person who puts in her headphones and pretends to text while I’m standing in elevators, riding on the bus, or am in any other place where a stranger might try to strike up a conversation. I don’t want to be bothered. But, the thing is, if I want to find a boyfriend, I have to look approachable. I have to encourage those strangers to walk up to me, even though I’m used to pushing them away. But that’s not something I’m comfortable with. I’m only comfortable when I’m alone.
Half of the people I meet aren’t worth talking to.
Everyone says you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. Well, what if I don’t want to deal with those fuckboy frogs? They make me hate the human race even more than I already do. I mean, I really shouldn’t have to deal with strange men asking for pictures of my tits and then harassing me when I refuse to send anything to them. I’m not naive. I know most men aren’t like that. But in order to find the good guys, I have to make my way through the assholes, and that’s something I’m just not in the mood for.
I don’t know how to act when I meet someone I actually like.
I’m a pro when it comes to making up excuses for why I can’t hang out or looking like I’m too busy to be bothered when I’m walking down the street. But when it comes to flirting, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. How do I tease my crush without coming across as a bitch? How do I show my interest without looking like I’m begging him to be my boyfriend? I’m still trying to figure it all out.
I’m too judgmental for my own good.
No, I don’t judge anyone by their skin, their looks, or their sexuality. But I do make judgements about the human race as a whole. If I see a puppy? I know it’s a lovable soul who would never hurt me. But if I see another person? I know they’re capable of lying and cheating and stealing in order to get what they want out of life. I shouldn’t be such a skeptic, but I’ve seen way too much evil in the world. I automatically think the worst of people. I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help it.
I’m scared to let other people in.
I can’t stand people, which is why I have a small group of friends. So if I ended up dating someone, it would be a huge deal. It would mean that I genuinly trust him and believe that he’s going to be around for a while. If he ended up leaving me after I put my fears aside and opened up my heart to him, the pain would be too much for me to handle. I rarely take a chance on people, so whenever I do, it means I’m super serious about them.