19. A woman had a miscarriage in the bedroom

This is my cousin’s story not mine… He worked through college by cleaning rooms. One day, he walked into a room and there was blood all over the bed and all over the bed. He called for management. Some woman had a miscarriage in the room and left it that way.

20. A man left behind blood, shit, and thongs

I’m an assistant manager at a fairly nice hotel in a little tourist town. It’s in the quiet side of town, not many buildings or anything nearby. There’s a little Italian place across the street and a subdivision visible from the hill. That’s about it. It’s normally really quiet, save for cranky old tourists who don’t understand how to use wireless, so hey. Whatever.

Then, we ended up with a string of weird things started happening. 47 Mile Man. Drunk guy who cut his throat on the pool door. Back alley abortion. Major drug bust. The weird cult-minded people who got mad at me for calling their cat fat. The angry Russian man with the vicious dog and the “keeper” nobody ever acknowledged.

Then the story about the thongs.

There was a guy named Michael, a childhood friend of one of the housekeepers back when I was a housekeeper myself. He was kind of sketchy, flirty, kept following us around every now and then. Occasionally he’d rent a room using his friend’s employee discount and would just stay for an extended period of time.

This was one of those times.

He was staying around for a week or so, and I was the person assigned to do his stayover. I went to go knock on his door, but before my fist could even connect, I just hear this godawful howling and cursing from the other side. Just a string of “fuck you”s from here to the end of time, stuff about how much he hated whoever he was talking to, crap about how it wasn’t their job to judge him. Loud enough that people are filing out of their rooms to see what the ruckus is, and I’m just standing there with my hand outstretched staring wide-eyed at the door.

Then silence.

I called the manager at the front and said I was scared to knock on the door, because the guy was batshit. He told me to forget it, but if he started yelling again to call down to the desk and he’d take care of it.

Fine, okay.

Then, he started yelling again. I call the manager. He sends up the guy’s friend–a dude named Will–from his break to go talk to him. Will goes in and vanishes for forty-five minutes, then comes back out and calmly informs me it’s no big deal. Michael was just talking to his mom. Also, he needs sheets.

And this went on for a while. Antics include him drunkenly kicking a garbage bag down the hallway and leaving a trail of soggy Corn Pops in his wake, outright running from the desk attendant when she asked what his girlfriend’s name was (apparently, he didn’t know who she was), and bringing in these dudes who basically stalked the head housekeeper in hopes of finding out if she was DTF (she wasn’t). We were all more than a little thankful when he left.

Except we had to clean his room. Or rather, Kristy–the housekeeper who’d been around the longest–had to clean his room. I watched her walk in, then I watched her walk out with this bewildered and horrified look on her face. She was always a little dramatic, so I just asked what was going on.

“They’re everywhere.”

“What is?”

“Thongs.”

Lo and behold, the room was trashed. Blood and shit were smeared across the walls like he was trying to paint a mural with human filth, garbage bags practically exploded over the room, the bathtub and sink as black as night. But, more baffling, there were thongs.

And indeed, they were everywhere. Strewn about like confetti, unused and freshly clean. They were stuffed under the bed, hanging out of drawers, rammed behind the furniture, tied around the pipes. They were heaped in corners, they were laid out in trails, they were crammed in the sink, they were practically coming out of our ears.

Just… women’s thongs.

Michael ended up fleeing altogether without paying the bill, so we never had the opportunity to ask him why the fucking hell he had so many thongs. Or whose blood was on the wall. Or why he’d decided to make a rainbow of shit in the bathroom. We’ve not heard from him since, and then his friend just went AWOL and stopped showing up to work.

I swear, though. Kristy seemed to get this look in her eyes whenever anyone mentioned underwear after that. Like it was a trigger word. Probably didn’t help she found a displaced thong tucked away neatly on her cart a week later. I don’t think I’ve seen anybody so bloodthirsty in my life.

21. The doors slammed behind me

I used to work in a hotel in Southern California, doing Security. Every night we would get a print out of what rooms were vacant. It was my job to go through all the rooms, ensure all lights are off and all windows are secure. I went into a room and found all the lights on, typical of Housekeeping after they clean. I started turning the lights off from the left side of the room, around to the windows and up to the bathroom. The bathroom has French style doors that open outward toward the room. The doors themselves have only hinges and two handles to pull them open, no other devices attached. The doors are also the very light-weight slatted wood.

Anyway I opened the left door out all the way so I could reach around it and turn the light off in the bathroom. After turning the light off I realized it was freezing in the room, which is not uncommon being Housekeeping liked it cold when they worked on a room. I reached up for the thermostat and when my hand was within 4 inches of it the door left door I just opened at the bathroom slammed shut. Terrified, I ran out of the room immediately. While pulling the door shut behind me the door deadbolt pushed itself out of the lock and it slammed into the door frame. I was petrified when I had to reach inside the door to disengaged it. I stood there for a minute or two with my eyes watering wondering WTF just happened. I decided to go back in and look to be sure of what happened. I went in and looked at the door, it was shut. I moved it around to see if it would close on it’s own, which it wouldn’t. I tried throwing the door to slam it and the door is so light weight it caught a lot of air and wouldn’t even shut all the way after throwing it closed. As far as I see it there isn’t any explanation for what happened, I stopped going into that room.