I alternate between thinking I’m the hottest thing alive and the ugliest thing on the planet.
I’ll assume you hate me if you don’t give me enough attention.
I cry over stupid shit.
I’ll tell you I’m fine when I’m not.
I’ve been screwed over so many times that I’ve actually gotten used to it.
I won’t act like someone I’m not to make you like me.
I still like watching Disney movies and cartoons.
I’m either obsessed with something or don’t give a shit about it. There is no in between.
I’ll probably misinterpret things that you say and then fight with you about it.
The idea of marriage terrifies me.
I won’t put you before my friends.
I’m going to have a hard time understanding why you want me.
I don’t believe in gender stereotypes, so I expect you to help with housework and cry in front of me.
I spend forever in the bathroom.
I need my alone time in order to stay sane.
I have baggage that I’m still dealing with.
I’m not as organized as I pretend I am.
I act like I hate mushy couple activities, but I secretly love them.
I won’t always be in the mood for sex.
My nails are forever chipped.
I can be a bitch when I’m drunk.
I can be a bitch when I’m sober.
You’ll never be the center of my universe.
I always think I’m right.
Sometimes, I’ll be moody for no reason.
I take way too many selfies.
I could stay in bed all day. Some days, I actually will.
I suck at matching the wings of my eyeliner and walking in heels.
I probably can’t cook as well as your mother did.
While we’re on the topic, I’m not going to do your laundry and buy your clothes like your mother did.
I won’t text you if you never text me.
I have trust issues.
There are exes I still keep in touch with. Or at least Facebook stalk.
I’m a lady, but I curse like a sailor.
I spend a lot of money. I don’t care if I already have thirty lipsticks, because I’m going to buy more anyway.
I make a lot of money. Don’t get upset if my paycheck is bigger than yours.
I suck at communicating, so I might say the wrong thing at the wrong time.
I’m not going to save you. You have to save yourself.
I can re-watch the same movie twenty times without getting bored of it.
You might catch me talking to myself.
I don’t know if I actually believe in love.
I hate wearing a bra. And pants.
I’m not going to shave every single day.
I love to dance, but I suck at it.
I love to sing, but I suck at it.
No matter how great our sex life is, I’m still going to masturbate to hot celebrities.
I’m terrified of getting hurt again.
I like animals more than people.
I’m not perfect.
I might want you, but I definitely don’t need you.